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Hey, anyone keen to meet up, Vancouver B.C.?
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After ~20-30 min on a call, I stop paying attention.
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How do I consistently make my girl finish
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The new company I’m at now sent me an email from an email address that was HR@companyName.careers saying I was accepted for the position. They gave me paperwork to fill out and sign to accept the position
I fill out the paperwork and send it back to them and it goes through… then a few days later I go back to the email to say something else and I get this…?
Then today I got a check from the company In the mail to setup my home office, and it’s signed by someone I’ve never met before or heard of…?
What…..
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If you’d do anything to make it work then move to NYC
Yeah someone has to move, better to be in the same city. I was in a long distance relationship for two years, we were super in love but ultimately it ended bc of the distance. Rooting for you!
Yeesh.
I’m cynical about LD relationships, so take this with a grain of salt but — “younger” + “wants more intense lifestyle” = she’s got one foot out the door my man.
You also commented later that you offered to move to NYC for her, but now she’s “worried you’ll resent her”. What this sounds like is that she’s only painting scenarios in which the relationship will fail, which means she wants it to fail. People who are all-in on a relationship don’t hypothesize this way.
Flip your roles… if your girl was in ATL and you were in NYC, and she said she wants to move to NYC for you, what would you say given how you feel?
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Absolutely what i was about to say. The writings on the walls, I honestly think she’s likely entertaining others already. That’s New York for you and her narrative adds weight, how do I know? Because I said the exact same thing when in an LDR a few years ago and said exactly this. Hate to be that person but doesn’t sound like she deep down wants you there
If my SO and I hadn’t ultimately lived in the same city it would have never worked. In our case, it did require one of us (me) to compromise on where we lived, but the alternative was we would have gone our separate ways. But I will say if you are willing to move to NYC and they seem to balk at the idea or worry, maybe they are nervous about the relationship getting more serious? Hard to tell, but wishing you the best!
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Good point. She’s massively commitment phobic (both parents have been divorced multiple times in nasty ways that impacted her whole childhood). But we are having really open and raw conversations which is what we need. Thanks for info 👌
Started off our relationship with the first 2 years long distance. Me in NYC (advertising). My partner in Maryland (army). And I LOVED it. It made me so grateful for him when we did get to be together for the weekend. But when we parted to go back to our work lives, it was depressing and heart achy and all the lame cheesy movie feels… however when we spoke on the phone it was much more deeply to one another and we didn’t want to waste each other’s time. Where a lot of friends in NYC found it challenging to find a quality partner cause u know, datings tough. I knew I wanted to work on forever with him.
He eventually went to grad school here and we did get married. We did 8 years together in NYC and just this Monday moved to Maryland. So that’s my long winded way of saying anything can work if they are your person and you both share the same vision.
If she’s your person, do what you can to make it work. 1. Communicate what you want and know each other’s dealbreakers. Hear her out on why NYC and she too about why ATL. 2. Set clear boundaries and goal markers - like hey in 3 months id like to meet your parents. In a year let’s move in together (NYC / Atl or even somewhere new together) or I’m really opposed to ATL/NYC because X, we can try it but when push comes to shove can leave it together?
If you guys are meant to be, then what’s a few years now, when ur young… I don’t know what partnership doesn’t compromise, long distance or not. It’s not 50/50 all the time, sometimes it’s 30/70, but not forever, or the same side for too long.
I’m rooting for you both. 💖
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Been with my SO for ~8 years total. Of those, six have been LDR. 4 years BOS/ATL and 2 years ATL/a rural Southern city.
We both have high career ambitions — I’m in consulting, my SO is in medical school. We also have fairly similar values, and neither of us drinks/parties. That keeps us at a similar level of work intensity and “time off” activities. We FaceTime daily for ~30min and aim to see each other every other week.
It’s not without challenges and sacrifices, though. Big one for me is that I decided not to pursue an MBA lest it prolong LDR any further.
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Feel for you brother, but I have no sage advice
The last long-distance relationship I had ended in disaster.
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Right on. Thanks for insight homie. God speed.
My husband and I were together almost 8 years before we got married this year. The primary reason is that he was always traveling - to clients for work, and to a different city to see his son, so our time physically together was limited. Then everything was further tested when I was transferred to a different city for work. Instead of being driving distance away, we had to fly to see each other. That was three years ago - the first year was a bit rocky, but we made it through. Honestly, the thing it took was communication, with each of us clearly stating what we needed, and then work on both of our parts to listen and adapt to each other's needs.
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Very helpful. Couldn’t agree more about the open communication. Me keeping the mantra of continually letting her know how I feel and her responding honestly is the main thing keeping me sane right now. Thanks for taking the time to share your story. Helps.
Actually about to do this but I’ll be the one in the northeast - I know I want to come back to Atl frequently. I’m hoping it works out :(
Maybe 😬
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You’d have to live together to have a life together. If this arrangement is short term then work it out if not, or you don’t know or you (both) aren’t trying to make an effort to find a way to live together end it early.
What do you mean by “intense” lifestyle?
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How do you define “more intense lifestyle” ?
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Work remote??????