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Hii fishes, help me choose the right company.
Yoe- 10.4 tech stack - Big data engineer with Spark scala.
Cognizant 20lpa(18.5fix)
Wipro 27lpa(23fix)
Globant 28fix
Citi Bank 29ctc(25fix)
I am looking for better work life balance and job security.
IBM
Infosys
Tata Consultancy
Tech Mahindra
Nagarro
Accenture
HCL Technologies
Hi fishes, How is WLB, Hikes in company @dell .
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How is CGI in terms of WLB and Job Security?
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Is it pronounced “data” or “data?” 🧐
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Rising Star
Big mood. 😴
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I sympathize with your wife. She sounds like mine. And you sound like a good husband, wanting to support her in every way. One solution may be to hire a mother’s helper/nanny during the week. Moms are overworked, tired, isolated, and anxious many times. Any help you can give her would reduce these ‘emergencies’.
Without more information, it's hard to say if you and/or your spouse are being reasonable with your requests or not. What are the "issues" that require you to leave work and go home immediately? Do you stay there? Are you not able to go on your lunch time? Are you getting your work done and hitting all your expected goals? Are you salaried or hourly?
The issues in my opinon are often not emergent. They are usually tough day with the kids, not feeling so well, getting sick etc. If I do go home yes I stay there. It's about a 30-40 minute commute so no going home for lunch isn't an option. I am a salaried employee, I to my knowledge and based on compliments of said GM have exceeded all expectations. The only hurdle that remains is attendance.
Impossible to judge without more context… do you have a baby at home? Is your partner battling mental illness or cancer? Are you renovating your house? If so, those all seem like situations where you need to be available at home more than an average person would or you’ve made a commitment to your partner to help out. But given the tenor of your comment, it sounds like many of these are more mundane things, so then it’s a matter of negotiating with your partner about what merits leaving the office.
That sounds like a really challenging situation, sorry to hear it. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to need to be in an office for 40 hours, but mental illness isn’t reasonable.. maybe it’s time to explore other options like some other posters suggested.
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My gut thought based on limited information:
Your SO is attempting to sabotage your career. 40 hours a week is not excessive work. M-F is not excessive work.
I had a soldiers who's spouse was this way in one of my units. She eventually terminated his career because she was incapable of existing without him and the Army tends to need people to be gone at times. There was absolutely nothing wrong that she as an adult couldn't handle but she would invent things that needed his physical presence.
Get help or get divorced. It wont get better on its own.
Rising Star
You are working 40 hours a week like majority of people. How are you managing your time when you are not at work? Like other comment said it’s hard to give feedback because this needs more context. What is SO doing while you are working? What are some of these 30+ emergencies? That’s an emergency every 1.7 weeks so how many of these things pulling you away from work are truly emergencies? Maybe if your SO is disabled and you are their primary caregiver? That would make sense…
OP it sounds like your wife is in survival mode and is burned out. Even if her concerns don’t seem logical to you, keep in mind that they are very important from her perspective. I would be concerned that she will be starting a WFH job soon.
Does she have the support that she needs? Does she have or is she looking for a therapist?
I feel 40 hours a week is kind of the norm?
That is another feeling I have. I have gone from working random shifts on a rotating schedule to working longer days 12-14 hours + 2 hour round-trip commute but only M-F to now working 40 hours a week M-F only. I feel like I have progressed in my professional path to being much more available, yet it seems to be not enough.
Your wife needs childcare assistance. Especially if she is going to work from home. Many employers require you to sign something stating you will not be watching children or other family members (disabled, elderly, etc.) while you work, and those that don't still deserve your FULL attention while working, and your children need FULL attention of a caregiver for their safety and wellbeing.
Enroll the kids in daycare. You should not have to leave your job just because someone is sick. She is not able to handle childcare and there is zero shame in that, it's incredibly difficult with one kid let alone more than one.
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I agree. I am glad your company knows that the situation is more complex but I also understand that a seemingly irrational sense of urgency by a primary caregiver with a diagnosis that precludes rational thought IS an emergency.
It does seem that your wife needs a different structure- can her WFH income cover part time child care? Can you switch to a hybrid schedule where you are wfh 2x a week so you are already nearby more often and aren’t disrupting other people’s schedules by having to commute home?
I think some conversation about “how can we make this work better” - perhaps guided by a therapist - could help? Sounds tough and I feel for both of you.