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Hi team, thanks for joining lets grow together.
How does one get on at a family office?
Forcing me to use my standing desk
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1. If you have troubles in the first 3-6 months, give up and try someone else. Don’t be the “nice guy” who won’t break up because nothing is “wrong”.
2. Have similar attitudes in life (hard working, morning person, exercise person, prioritize kids, etc).
3. Don’t get married too young/after bad luck. It’s like going grocery shopping when you’re starving.
Sorry, this isn’t the first 3-6 months of marriage, it’s the first 3-6 months of DATING.
Sexual compatibility and nature of spouse - also life’s perspective and interests.
Even if you went back and did this, sexuality changes over time - and let’s be honest - men literally create situations in their marriage where their woman’s sexuality dries the fuck up and resembles the Mohave Desert
Here’s an example.
Homegirl asked about advice for juggling her baby and her demanding consulting career at Deloitte and when someone asked her how the father is playing into this, this was her response.
Guarantee you that later, her husband is going to wonder why she doesn’t want to have sex anymore.
Spend time with her mother. While they won’t be exactly the same, there’s prob 75% similarity across lifestyle, interests and attitudes. Ideally you get along great with your future mother in law and that will reflect well on your future spouse. (I wasn’t so lucky)
Sometimes I wish she was taller. She’s pretty awesome all around though.
This is absolutely a million dollar question.
I have struggled in 3 month of marriage and I am seperated since 9 months now and haven't talked.
Some pointers which you should discuss before making the move.
1. Finances. Together and seperate.
2. Career growth and expectations
3. In laws and daughter mother bond
4. Observe closely the inlaws relationship like how that couple operates. Their expectations from you.should be clear to you.
5. Health issues.
6. Responsibilities towards parents. Girls are anxious about men sharing things with family. Its a major decision.
7. Social status as well. Although this sound wierd but people operating at different level behave differently.
8. Conservative rules if any, discuss what is appropriate what is not. When around parents/relatives or socially around friends.
9. Habits bad or wierd. Smoke, drink or anything else.
10. Discuss responsibilities and set a boundry who is responsible for what inside and outside of house.
11. Most important, check what impact you or your spouse have considering social media and other perceptions. This in my case was deal breaker.
12. Make sure you prefer connection over finances. Marriages are happening as a financial alliance. people don't love but are together to maintain their status and have equal achievement later the spark goes missing and the attraction fades.
13. It's okay that you and your partner are not from same career path. Happens in IT mostly. So choose wisely.
Bro be clear while committing.
Dont let things stuck and don't expect that the other person will get what you are thinking be vocal. In my case, we are surely getting divorced and the financial burden is still on me even though she is employed as senior engineer.
3 months and now I'll be in major debt.
Choose wisely
Sorry you’re going through this and please know I have zero judgement. I am good friends with someone who went through a traditional arranged marriage and it turned out almost rom-com good. He just got lucky but like you, he was working ALL THE TIME, and saved so well he bought a house in cash when he finally crossed that milestone (he was a little older than typical). But that said- it could have turned out ultimately the same in any kind of marriage as often happens anyway.
Sounds like you tried everything. I really hope that when you can fully move past it that you can balance work better, the parents leave you alone, and you can apply these brilliantly thought through points and find someone who makes you happy!
A corporate girl.
And more curves because they are fun.
But mainly a corporate girl with ambition who wants to conquer the world.