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It's common for kids that young to play dress up and stuff like that because they're still learning about themselves and their roles in society. It's your job as their parent to teach them, not to indulge their misunderstandings, to their own detriment no less (being made fun of, which you acknowledged you know would happen).
I'm not even saying your child couldn't necessarily grow up to have some kind of gender fluidity or whatever, but at age 4 they are too young to understand or consider it. From your question it didn't seem like they were expressing some kind of deep seated emotional need, rather just a childlike desire to dress up (feel free to tell me if I misunderstood, though).
You are your son's father, their teacher and protector, for God's sake just put some pants on them and treat them like a normal boy.
I recognize this won't be the most popular reply, and I don't mean anyone any disrespect, but just sharing my personal opinion.
There’s nothing wrong with a parent instilling basic principles of appropriateness and norms in their children. They need instruction and guidance from their parents. Not every place and every situation needs to be a platform for children to do whatever they want to do and an excuse for narcissistic adults to virtue signal.
Preschool is the place for your child to learn. Not a social experiment.
Hmm, I think your best bet is to keep that in the house for now. I don't know if the emotional abuse he would experience is worth the "freedom" he would get by wearing what he wants
Agree - I know we want to give our kids freedom and choice early these days, but this is one of those moments where you may want to step in and prevent something mean from happening to your kid that he is not ready for.
I guess I forgot to mention that kids are cruel, but more so are their parents. Many responses here make me sorry for your kids - I hope you’re not holding them back from who they want to be one day when they’re old enough to express themselves fully.
My kid also wants to walk around naked in public but the line has to be drawn somewhere. If gender is socially constructed, so too are clothes. What is the difference?
I really doubt anyone will care, even the kids. This is 2022, not 1955.
Oh they definitely can be at 5…unfortunately
Or take him him shopping and get him boy clothes…
Don't do it. I had a nephew that wore dresses to school and now he refuses to go to school.
I’d just email the teacher and let them know so they can keep a watchful eye in case any kids say anything and then let him go for it. He can always take it off during the day if he chooses to (my kiddo got tired of wearing dressy stuff right before outside play time most days). I can’t imagine that many will care but we also had our daughter who went to school in a bike helmet and Gecko costume for like 3 mo straight and just taught her that if anyone said anything, she could just say ‘this is what I like to wear’ and walk away.
I would say tutus are for dress up and not appropriate for school (I would say this to a girl also). If it’s a normal dress, I think you gotta let it play out. Will likely last one day.
Keeping the other kids in check is the teacher’s job. Helping your kid feel comfortable, confident, and loved while figuring out who they are is your job. And lest this crew forget, work in a profession that thrives on constant positive affirmation we are doing well or good.
We get a pretty narrow window in life where we can wear whatever we want, so I say let him go for it. Your kid will have 60yrs to wear khakis and a button up - let him enjoy 1yr of wearing a tutu.
Sure! However, you should give him a little pep talk about how some other kids might tease him and how he should handle it.
Thanks
My son has a classmate in kindergarten who wears exactly what you’re taking about and I’m 99% sure it’s never been something he teased about (we’re good friends with his parents).
I think it’s way more important to allow your son to express himself than to start pushing outdated societal norms.
Yea I figured someone would bring that up eventually. But like, that's clearly not the way little boys dress in modern times, ya know? I'm not saying they CAN'T wear dresses. I just think it's gaslighting to suggest it's outdated to not have your son wear a dress, that's all.
I have an 8 yo boy that still enjoys doing dress up with his younger sisters. When he was 4 he and his 3 yo sister both dressed up as Belle for Halloween. So I have no problems with him wearing whatever when they play at home.
For school however we do let him know that dress up clothes are only for home, even for his sisters (which we do enforce).
He does fight with us at times about it, and it can be difficult since he is also special needs. Personally I could care less about how he plays and dresses up at home. We just don't allow it for school because we are also afraid of the bullying that could occur, and he might not even recognize it as such.
Sometimes I tell my kid stuff she doesn’t understand and I have to explain it. Like when she calls our dog a boy and I explain to her that our dog is not a boy, she’s a girl because she has a girl zizi. It pains me.
Sadly you might have to worry about the teachers inserting their personal vendettas more than the kids. I think kids are more comfortable with free expression of themselves than in generations past, and I think that’s a good thing
And he said, "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help you along
So I give you that name, and I said goodbye
And I knew you'd have to get tough or die
It's that name that helped to make you strong"
He said, "Now you just fought one heck of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right to kill me now
And I wouldn't blame you if you do
But you ought to thank me, before I die
For the gravel in ya gut and the spit in ya eye
'Cause I'm the f_ that named you Sue"
What could I do?
I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
I called him my pa, and he called me his son
Come away with a different point of view