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He might not get fired for this one instance, but if he is a repeat offender a pattern will emerge and it will eventually catch up with him. Of course, for that to happen someone needs to report him! I realize that this can feel overwhelming but trust me it is worth it. I beg you to report it! If you’re afraid of consequences you can ask for anonymity. I realize that it won’t provide much cover if you’re his only recent victim but it’s a start.
I'm done answering. If you are a partner, as an owner, self reflect a bit - if people are afraid to come forward, you have an issue and should be ashamed. Further, dont put the onus on the victims to navigate and "change" a broken system. They are powerless. Supposedly, you are smart agents of change for others, so figure out how to design and implement a fair system, which is accessible by everyone and does not retaliate either openly or not. When this truly happens in a credible way, the predators will know that they can not hide and the problem greatly diminishes.
^Very common, unfortunately. The world is a very evil place with the rich and powerful being able to do anything to those below them.
Partners can - and should be - fired. Certainly for this type of behaviour. Speak up. Usually this type of behaviour is not one off but likely a trend. Do it for yourself and for those who might follow you. Have courage, in the end if the Firm takes the Partner’s side that’s a Firm you don’t want to have in your future. Good luck.
Sorry, P1 - easy for you to say. I would strongly advise NOT to do it. The firm is a partnership, you know whose interests come first. Unless you have solid proof (or there are multiple victims ready to all come forward), or you are ready to make a public stink, you are committing career suicide. DON'T DO IT
P2 - I am glad you are at least listening. HR handling is very similar at professional services firms. It is a whitewashing job, wasting countless hours of time interviewing... all for the purpose of assuring the person who came foreward that nothing happened that went against policy or code of ethics. Oftentimes it is wrotten off as cultural or other misunderstanding. Thank you for being a leader open to hearing from those in the trenches.
I think that OP should report. Now is a good time given recent events. Think of it this way: what if he was one complaint away from serious consequences?
Also, I assume people talk amongst themselves. What is his reputation?
The problem is, what is MY reputation if I report it? Would probably be viewed as someone trying to sleep my way to the top (which I most certainly am NOT). That was a major factor in my decision not to report, thanks to our country's tendency to victim blame.
PWC1 you could report it to HR as an FYI but say you don’t want to investigate or anything, just note it in case it is a pattern? idk. Better than nothing?
If you tell anyone senior to you they have to report it. You are putting them on notice. It's policy.
Correct! And by investigating and terminating an employee that could cost them mucho $$ down the road because of inaction on HR's part is smart for the company.
@P1 - thanks for chiming in. It wasn't recent, it was 6 years ago, but I won't forget. So don't know if there are others. If there are, I would feel so guilty.
It's discouraging. I have a mentee getting harassed (inappropriate touching at happy hours, etc.) I finally convinced her to say something to HR, it was met with "we protect the firm" and "this just happens" 😞
Thanks P2 (real P1), my goal (if any) is to get it off my chest, and hope somehow I can help the next girl... however that may be, easier said than done.
Much depends on your firm. If your HR team waves this off find a new job at a different firm. Then go loudly public with it. You can do it anonymously here, except publish the harrasser's name, the firm, etc. That will get some action.
MD1, What specifically do you want me to do? (Other than not being a perpetrator myself) My only opportunity to exhibit change is in reaction to allegations or upon observing conduct directly.
As I said, I don’t think the OP should expect the offender to be fired over a single unsubstantiated allegation from 6 years ago. I do think she should expect a thorough and documented investigation. I think she should expect not to have to work with the offender in the future if desired.
I also don’t think quitting and going public is a good answer. It may exact more retribution and therefore feel good, but it is also more damaging to ones own career.
P2, don't know your firm and can't specifically tell you what to do. However, if I were a partner I would make it priority 1 to assure for myself, not the victims, to assure a free uninhibited fair system were in place to handle these things. As ironic as it may sound, hire a consultant. At one firm I consulted with, they had a third party investigate all claims. Clearly, the classic HR solution is broken when HR has zero incentives to side with the potential victim. And yes, I would advise she leaves the firm then causes as much negative publicity as she can - this is the only real way for change
Maybe I shouldn’t put it all on MD1 to answer that. I don’t think the correct HR response is a simple question. I think there are obviously bad options, but not an obvious good one.
Yes, the mentee I am thinking of is now pregnant and facing pregnancy discrimination, which is so sad. She can't leave because she's pregnant, she's sticking it out until maternity leave, then not returning, so she says... 😞
I'm always curious when people say "harass" can you be more specific. This term is so overused nowadays. I also think there's a bit of overtness now with #metoo. I want to know specifics. I also remember 3 weeks ago when at an after-hours non-sponsored happy hour event, 2 female colleague, while talking about working out, grabbed and squeezed my biceps. I wear slim fit shirts and I'm in great shape. They all laughed with delight as they squeezed my biceps without my permission out in open. No one flinched. I can't imagine that as a guy I would have gotten away with doing the same nor would I ever think of doing a think like that. It absolutely didn't bother me, but maybe it should have? Was that "inappropriate touching"?
@ACN1 - she felt and feels uncomfortable, that's all that matters.
^OP, if she doesn't communicate the discomfort it might not be understood. I'm a big hugger. I try to always open my arms and say I'm a hugger and let someone come to me. If I was making anyone uncomfortable through doing that, but they hugged me back anyway, I truly wouldn't have a clue. I'm 6', 200 lb guy, so not petit...
OP I want suggesting that it wasn't pregnancy discrimination but that it be looked through the lens of state laws, which for right or wrong, often have specific requirements. If it meets those situations get an employment practices lawyer. But I'm with Mercer1, if un-comfort isn't communicated then it is difficult to adjust for innocent reasons which I do not think your original post represents. Thats completely different.