SOS one of my friends is having a destination wedding and asked me to be the maid of honor. Today she sends me the details and it’s in the middle of a national park (3 hrs from nearest airport so have to rent a car), the hotel is minimum 700/night (no other options nearby), plus I’ll be flying across the country to go to this in the first place ($700 flight).Looking at dropping ~4K+ for this seems crazy to me, but what do I tell her? I’m 25 so barely have any money as is.

WWYD?!

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I would be honest with her that financially it is not feasible for you to do this. My fiancee and I had to decide whether we wanted a destination wedding without certain people we wanted to attend, or a more traditional wedding that more people could celebrate with us. If we went the destination route we already knew certain people wouldnt make it. Its not for her to decide that you need to spend outside what youre able to. Sucks but thats life

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If you’re her best friend, and you also consider her a good friend, and you agreed to be her maid of honor, then I would make a best effort to make it work. It is a once in a lifetime event and presumably you mean a lot to her.

Tell her you would need to book accommodation a little bit further away, since you can’t afford $700/night. There must be cheaper accommodation that’s less convenient if this is a national park. That’s going to be the sacrifice. Or see if there’s someone you can share a room with.

And there should definitely be someone you can share a car with. Or a wedding party/family member who can pick you up. Or public transportation.

likesmart

Yes. These are practical solutions

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I would have an honest conversation with her asap. She’s going to have a ton of people drop out if she’s expecting everyone to spend that much on her wedding, and it’s better for her to know now so she can adjust her expectations/financial contribution if possible. We had a destination wedding in a similarly hard to get to location, but we hired shuttle buses from the airport to the venue and subsidized the cost of rooms for folks (they paid $150 per person per night), so that way the primary cost for people was flights. We felt we couldn’t ask people to spend that much time/money so factored that into our budget when picking the venue.

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Be 100% honest with her. Don’t wait until it gets closer to the wedding. Either she may choose someone else or she may offer to help out with some of the cost. It is a lot! If she’s a good friend, she will understand that burden and appreciate your honesty. If she’s pissed, that’s a huge sign and you just saved yourself a few thousand bucks right there.

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Is she your best friend? How close are you to her?

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Not my best friend but I’m probably her best friend😬

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Tell her you are concerned about how to afford it, and ask if there is a bridesmaid or bridesmaids you can share a room with or other single guests. There are probably other single girls if you are all in your 20s. You could have 4 girls to a room if you had to. Also ask if there is someone you can share a ride with to get there. Maybe two different people if necessary like if you drove with the bride there and someone else takes you home. These things will at least halve your costs. If you are bringing a date then they should at least help cover the cost of the hotel. Otherwise don’t bring a date! Also maybe you could rent an RV and camp nearby LOL (that would be my personal hell so I get it if not). But lots of camp sites have showers and bathrooms and you would most likely be getting ready for the wedding at the hotel in a bridal suite anyway. You could also stay somewhere else the night before and only stay at the hotel the night of the wedding, if you got your hair/makeup done last to allow for drive time.

smart

Typically, destination weddings are well thought out and if having a bridal party it is (in my experience anyhow) expected the bridge/groom covers traveling costs because of this exact reason. I’d be honest with her and let her know you’d love to but financially you cannot afford it at this time so as much as you’d like to, you cannot.

As others have mentioned, it’s not unheard of for them to help you out financially. They knew what they were signing up for when they decided on a destination wedding. We had the same discussion before deciding to go destination wedding as welll

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