{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Spouse is wanting me to accept a job offer somewhere else because her close friend lives there.. she doesn’t work, I have no intention of living where the job is, how can I explain it to her in a way she will understand?", "post_id": "60fa1adc444bf00024a46ab0", "reply_count": 66, "vote_count": 7, "bowl_id": "5e6fe1c31f5e51001d267e46", "bowl_name": "Coronavirus Work-life" }

Spouse is wanting me to accept a job offer somewhere else because her close friend lives there.. she doesn’t work, I have no intention of living where the job is, how can I explain it to her in a way she will understand?

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I see a lot of people siding with your wife here (and sure it seems like your relationship could do with more honest and constructive conversations). But I think it will always be easier to resolve issues if you feel fulfilled rather than bitter from a professional POV So you have two+ job offers with Job A - preferred option professionally Job B - closer to wife’s friend I would chose the job that makes you feel the most fulfilled and give you the best shot at the career you want (and not set you up for being resentful towards your wife)

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Well if your job is supporting the two of you and make up can’t relocate I would simply explain that to her. That it’s supporting the two of you but that you are open to move (if that’s the case) but if salary isn’t the same, the two of you may beee to work. I would understand if she wanted to move for family but for a friend is a tough one and you never know when you might have a falling out with a friend.

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This is really just a solicitation for divorce lawyers isn’t it

likefunny

DM me for a referral 😂😂😂

funnylike

tell me you need a divorce lawyer without telling me you need a divorce lawyer

likefunny

jk i hope you figure it out. i think honesty is the best policy and if she can’t accept that maybe you do need one?

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“I don’t want to live there”

likefunny

It sounds like you don’t want her to “understand” you want her to agree and follow you because you think you control the relationship and she’s “lazy” which you “tolerate.” Not sure how this is working for either of you, given you’ve had nothing positive to say about your wife in these comments. What is it you’re really looking for here? If it’s a serious question, you should have a serious conversation with your spouse about shared goals and desires and how those can be accomplished both short and long term.

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Is Spouse 21?

likefunny

No she’s 30

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Sounds like maybe you don’t need to explain to her why you don’t want to move there/take the job, and start working to understand what will make her happier. Sounds like she is possibly lonely or bored. Try understanding why she’s asking this of you first instead of just trying to shut her down.

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And if you find out why shes asking this, you most likely won’t even need to comply with the request. She may realize she felt like that was the only way to get what she wanted. So, a win/win

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If she doesn’t work you should move somewhere where she can be happy and has friends? Also, maybe divorce her and set her free you seem miserable and resentful.

likesmart

How about she gets a job so she’s not bored? Lol

likefunny

Is her “close friend” the same gender? 👁

likesmart

Oh really?? 👀

likefunnyhelpful

The bottom line: You will be more successful if your wife is happy. This needs to be a we discussion. Get her on board and make it a team thing. The last thing you want is her filled with resentment and or unhappy.

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No both people need to be happy, not just one. Maybe she should get a job so she isn’t so bored....

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In a way she’ll understand or in a way she’ll agree with? If she can’t comprehend a “no” then that’s one thing, but I suspect she just doesn’t agree with your reasons. Also sounds like there may be some imbalance in expectations? She’s 30 and doesn’t work? Why? Are there kids and she’s lonely/isolated where you are? Did you discuss where you’d like to live prior to marriage? Has something changed?

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Maybe she’s hot. Is she hot, OP?

Time to take separate roads.

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Love how you all took this seriously. Sounds like OP is bored and is playing.

likeuplifting

How about, "No, dear. Get a life."?

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Why did you attend the interview if u weren’t going to relocate? You could’ve just said you didn’t get the offer

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Yes choice of multiple locations

Are you moving for a job and have a choice of location and her preference is different than yours? Or is it stay put or move towards her friend?

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I1 I had the same thought. He works, cooks, clean and she?

Time for wife 2

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You told her to quit her job didn’t you? If you aren’t happy being the only person providing for the family then explore other options like maybe discuss to see if she can help with cooking and cleaning

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The real answer is figure out how you can increase access to her friend from where you are. This is really what your spouse is asking for. Suggest some vacations together or invite them to stay with you.

She sounds way to spoiled and whiny to me tbh. Why are you with her?

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