Related Posts
Roth vs Traditional 401k, thoughts?
What are the best ways of tax exemption
Pre-tax 401(k) or after-tax...thoughts?
More Posts
Are there any ARD Facilitators in this group?
yeah my pain

Pre-tax 401(k) or after-tax...thoughts?
Additional Posts in Personal Finance Bowl
What does 401k mean?
Paid off my account debt!
New to Fishbowl?
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.



OP, I finally had to divorce my spender. She was out of control. It cost me half but I feel I’m much better off.
Hi OP. It seems like yours and your partner’s financial values are different. You can guide someone but cannot force them to follow your path. I would say just accept them for who they are. If you feel that you do not want to spend on such high purchases then you reach a compromise. For example, you could say you are comfortable spending x% on the car and rest they need to pay or say you don’t want to pay. They can make the $$$ purchase when they have the amount. You need to make sure that your monthly family budget/expenses are not compromised.
Often we try to enforce our beliefs and value system on our partner which results in conflict. Let them enjoy what they want and you do what you want while maintaining your family values together.
Was in a similar situation with my partner. My partner likes spending on vacations. I realized the importance of it when we went on said vacations spending the extra money and now it’s a memory of a lifetime. But that doesn’t mean I would agree to it every year :-).
Cars plural?
The conversation should have happened before marriage.
Expect they’ll also post here asking why you’re so tight with money & how to get you to live a little.
Definitely a card to play. He is still mourning his X5 so I’ll need to give it some time.
Thanks for your time and thought provoking questions! Appreciate you VP1.
Just do a Financial calculator that breaks down how much is needed total based on the amount of money needed/wanted in retirement. Then how much needs to be saved monthly to have that total at desired retirement age. Then compare it to how much total or years longer saving at 6%.
Numbers don’t lie & are a reality check
Don’t approach it from a “your salary” vs “my salary” that’s asking for resentment (especially if you make significantly more than your spouse).
I would recommend having a discussion of broad financial goals (we want to own a house, we want to be able to travel the world, we want 3MM saved for retirement, we want to own and maintain nice cars because it brings fulfillment). After aligning on some high level goals then you and your partner can create a plan to achieve those goals. Right now it seems like they might feel that your saving just to save and they don’t understand or buy into your goals.
Good luck!
Sorry about your situation. If I may ask. Are you a man or a woman?
Perhaps the other thing is my interests are one time payments whereas cars are constant.