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I was in your shoes. I didn’t graduate until I was 27. I didn’t live off my parents, but I was a piece of crap until I was about 24. Before that I was probably fired from 20 restaurants. At one point I worked in about every fine-dining restaurant in the city. Since then I’ve gotten two masters, a phd, and a pretty good career. My suggestion is to fake until you make and use your soft skills to find invaluable mentors and friends. My mentors, and one in particular, has really been a life saver. My friends were there to listen when I felt like it was all going to come tumbling down. Work hard and don’t forget to ask for help and be open to learning no matter what stage your at. Good luck.
I graduated at 25 and got fired from my first job after a few years. The self doubt you’re just going to have to figure out over time. You just have to be 100% honest with yourself about what you’re doing right/wrong, and get feedback from others. For guidance, even if they aren’t officially mentoring you, try and get close to people you respect. Follow their lead.
Sounds sort of stupid written out but one of the things that I started doing was emulating my bosses, the good ones, behavior. In a situation I wasn’t familiar with I’d think “what would [someone I respected] do in this situation”. Try it out and adjust based on how I thought it went.
Remember that if you’re just kicking off in your late 20s people you’re age are late seniors, managers, or early directors. You’ll be working with 22-24 year old kids. They don’t generally know shit. Try and flex your “seniority” where you can...without being a douche bag. Super fine line but try and lead your peers....without being a douche.
(Ninja edit: M1 also hit some outstanding points in the comment above)
Have you been evaluated for ADHD? It’s not limited to hyperactive adults or kids. Your story reads a lot like many with undiagnosed adult ADHD.
You’re welcome OP!
I developed some really bad mental illness after dropping out of a phd. Didn’t crawl out from all of that until I was 27. Reflect on the ways things were stacked against you. You’re still standing here. Everyone’s life is different, don’t worry about behind behind or catching up. I’m alongside a lot of 22 year olds, etc, and the age difference seems completely imperceptible to them 99% of the time.
Have good mentors? Seek out connections with folks a little more senior than you.
How’s your love life and friendships?
Sounds like you are unhappy and not sure what to do about it. I highly recommend seeing a therapist to work through things and come up with strategies for coping with the pressures of life.
Surprisingly really good, I’ve had no trouble being datable. But I also have above average looks and that’s also really what I think has gotten me this far in life unfortunately. I don’t think I’ve earned merit on my own.
Lack of guidance? Weren’t you living under a safety net? Just seems like laziness from that statement alone.
I’m just looking for guidance guys. I don’t care about any negative comments
26 is not a late bloomer my friend. I had a similar story as I didn’t finish my masters until about 27. You’ve got to continuously learn from others who know more than you. It can help to have mentors you admire who carry themselves with distinction. That will motivate you. I used to get fired all the time when I was younger too so don’t sweat it. Make sure you are learning and growing. That can be listening to folks on YouTube, Dave Ramsey, Simon Sinek, etc these ppl have motivated me to do more and go higher. As far as self doubt, you gotta accept your limitations as a human and not be overly hard or critical of yourself. So do periodic self checks and assessments but don’t obsess over them. Allow them to motivate you to change. Take care of your self spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally and it will somehow come together
Did anyone have a similar journey? How did you navigate self doubt, lack of guidance, unbeknownst career pitfalls etc
Rolled with the punches and learned from them. Not everyone has an easy path, but every path can lead to success if you want it to. Life isn’t fair that way, but it’d be pretty boring if it was.
Well I guess Op, where / what are you doing now - do you have a new job?
I’m a consultant at a boutique tech implementation group.
OP - Thanks for sharing. Don’t jump to conclusions about there being something being wrong with you; you might be quite normal. You may be in the wrong profession with your passion/interest elsewhere. Also, you are not alone given several stories here. Also, everyone has their own share of miseries and everyone figures a way out or makes some compromise. Either way it works out. Just don’t forget to have some good beer on the journey. Wise words from M1 and M2.