This is long so appreciate those who read and advise. I am in desperate need of it.
I work at place where I am friends with my manager's boss (let's call him A). A fwd me to this position since they thought I was a good fit and left the decisioning to my now Manager (let's call him B) I have done well over the last few years and have a build a great relationship with B. A and B have a somewhat strained relationship where they butt heads and have ego issues. (Continued in comments)

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I would, in the spirit of repairing/strengthening your relationship with B, acknowledge the faux pas and let him know you hadn't meant for the conversation to go the direction it did. I would state that you learned from this situation and that you intend on keeping your friendship- relationship with A separate from your work relationship. Reiterate your goal(s) in working with B and ask B if you and he can start fresh and put this scenario behind you. Remain professional (as I can tell seems to be your m.o.), and know that the situation will take time for B to trust. Good Luck.

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This is the way

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This is tricky. I’ve been in a sticky situation like that and found that by running my mouth to my friend about work and it came back similarly. I was junior and they were far more senior. It created a rift between them and ultimately my A stopped talking to me. In retrospect of I’m ever in a similar situation I’d do a 💯 separation firewall of work and social justice to avoid that from happening. If I were in your place , I’d address it with A and see how it came up between them - if B had any reaction or anything, if they have any advice. And then help steer you on how to address it with B. And if that’s not possible I would agree with the above and just try to“rumble” with B. Directly ask if they think the resource need is a prob, if your relationship with A is a prob, is learning about your need from A is a prob- get to the root of it and just go head on, diplomatically.

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Don’t think I suggested to. It sounded to me like they already spoke.

Oh man it is like walking into a dogfight. I would move on, especially if you were acting in a professional manner/demeanor trying to perform your role. It is not your problem people butt heads (or are buttheads), this should not be a reflection on you.

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A and my family meet socially and we chat about work at times. I did the most stupidest thing and mentioned that I needed resources to A in passing and this may have somehow been discussed back with B I think. B hasn't mentioned this explicitly but mentioned that we can start chatting about my need of resources and has a subtle change in attitude. Year end reviews for my team didn't go well. I'm thinking B is upset but is politically very wise and I fear may hurt my career. I want to fix my relationship with B but don't know what to do now..

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I think the best conversations are resolved with open heart.

I saw a change in my manager’s attitude few days back. I asked him for our 1-1 . In that I said, it seems there is some tension between us, I have always been frank and I want to be now. And then let him open up. Also find a way to make cadence of how you should pose your demands. And sometime you might have discussed these demands with your team, but always felt that nothing can be resolved before taking to b. You need to subtly hint, b is unapproachable because of which sometimes you don’t how to structure demands but in end make them feel guilty.

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I have a couple long standing rules.

First, that what's said between friends stays within friends. It sounds like A violated that rule and took something said between friends into the workplace.

My second rule is that there's really no such thing as friends in the workplace and that anything I don't want spread in the workplace is best kept to myself. You violated that rule yourself.

At this point, it's owning up to your mistake and trying to fix A's mistake.

Go to A and ask that in the future they discuss nothing work related or personal outside of your personal friendship. And then don't discuss work related things with them until trust is reestablished.

Then go to B and try to repair your professional relationship by admitting your mistake, expressing your commitment to not repeating it, and asking forgiveness.

At the very least you can say you did everything you could.

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RK: I m having a hard time starting a conversation about it since B has not explicitly mentioned that A talked to him about it. I will just have to bring it up vaguely I guess. I appreciate your input!

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Befriend B again, make sure they know they can trust you (within reason ofc). You and A have no issues (unless you want to dig further into whys and hows, I trust you don’t). Make it clear you are a professional and their relationship with each other don’t affect your professional relationship w B aka what happens between them stays between them. Make sure to communicate to B that he is acknowledged and you are ready to address whatever there is to be addressed from your side. If this helps, you’re good. If not, this whole thing was bigger than you in the first place.

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