Toddler Moms... Anyone have tips for getting a threenager to sleep (& stay) in their bed?!? Trying to save my marriage and sanity over here...

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What I’ve done:
1. Never let them come in our bed- they always have to go back in their bed
2. For going to sleep: threats/promises rewards; not intervening in playing post-bedtime as long as their light is out and door is closed- eventually they go to sleep
3. Shocked this has worked, but: when my daughter goes through one of her phases of getting up 3-5x per night, I will actually ask her when I put her to bed, can you please not wake up mommy tonight? I’m really tired in the morning when you do that. Can you stay in your bed if you wake up? This actually works to break that cycle when it starts up again.

likehelpful

Yes, my daughter is a bit of a people pleaser as well. She just turned 4, but I started trying it earlier this year when she was late 3s.

Try a sleep clock that changes colors when they can get up. Worked on my first, failed on my second. Otherwise, bribery?????

likefunny

We use the Hatch Baby Rest Sounds Machine... you can control the colors/noise from your phone and we used it sort of like a game. When it’s red you stay in bed and once the light turns green you’re good to go (nap is over). Now if they listen, that’s a whole other challenge. Good luck!

likeuplifting

Been through this a few times. Sometimes it seems that phases will never end. If none of the tactics recommended above work, try them in reverse it- give the child something small at the start of the night (sticker, marble, coin). If he/she stays in bed all night, they get to keep it! If they get up, take the item away in the morning and try again the next night.

All my kids were much more motivated by losing their item, then they were by earning/gaining an item.

Keep us updated on what you try!

likehelpful

Also I love that I responded to this like I don’t have the same problem 😂😂

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Same problem over here. We're thinking about getting a Hatch for the color toddler alarm, but my husband is hesitant. He said he doesn't want our son to feel like he can't come get us if he had a bad dream, woke up scared, or if he had an accident because the light says to stay in his room. But I would assume if that happens our son would come get us anyway? I don't know.

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Glad you asked this. Needing help over here too. Most of the time I take her back during the night but sometimes I just can’t wake up enough to move her, until she kicks me so many times in her sleep that I can’t sleep. So then I move her. Yawn. I’m going to try the traffic light light to see if that makes any difference.

We’ve adjusted the bedtime routine to start a bit earlier and allow for an extra story. For my daughter, it seemed that she was fighting bedtime because she needed more 1:1 time.

We made a sticker chart and she used it to earn things she wanted. She “earned” her move from a toddler bed to a big girl bed by getting 2 weeks worth of stickers. She only got a sticker if she stayed in her room once we put her to bed (she was obviously allowed to come out to use the bathroom). It helped her to see her progress and have a goal and once she got in the habit she kept it up.

When I moved my first kid out of her crib and into a bed at age 3, we couldn’t find the tool to take apart the crib, so we left it up in her room for that first night. I used it as an opportunity: I said to her- “if you get out of your bed, I will put you right back into that crib.” Ended up scaring the bejesus out of her and she never got out of her bed once for the next 3 years! (After that first unplanned night of the crib staying up, we saw our unintentional genius and did leave it up for about 2 weeks).

So, perhaps set up the crib again and threaten that? Or just threaten it without the physical object?

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