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I am following professor Aswath Damodaran's blog since long. Professor Damodaran teach Corporate Finance and Valuation and is well known valuation guru. Here's the link to his blog -
Musings on Markets (aswathdamodaran.blogspot.com)
His writing and videos have been great source of knowledge for me and hence sharing with this group.
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FIS India WFH extended till Dec 2022 ✌️
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We didn’t listen!!!
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Last song you listened to.. go!
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Something something red stapler
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After my initial offer I never shared that information again with anyone other than my spouse. I don’t see how anything positive comes from it.
Pro
I don’t tell my parents as it always elicits a response about how they never made (combined) what I make, still managed to raise a family, had to live frugally (no vacations) and etc. On one hand my mom is proud of me, on the other it makes her feel bad about how little we had as I grew up
This^^ but assuming you can afford to pay for everything that comes up and start financially supporting them now, when you might be at the start of your career (high cost of living city, insane tax rates) ...I told my mom my initial salary, and my parents had made more than that amount in their lives so that wasn’t the cut, it was when I finally told my mom how much my rent was, as if I was *trying* to pay that amount for some luxury place, and it happened to be more than the mortgage at my home growing up in the middle of the county at the time (read: early 90s!) ... that’s when it got worse, because she assumed I had a ton of extra money because of my rent price.
Rising Star
She’s your mom man lol you should be able to trust her with anything. Don’t create animosity over nothing.
Enthusiast
If you think this way that means you’ve been very lucky with the parents you have. Not everyone has the same relationship, trust etc.
Chief
Just lie lol
I’m 32 and share everything comp related with my parents. We didn’t have much when I was growing up and they’re so happy about all my successes - I think it’s natural for parents to want their children to do better than them. Makes my parents’ sacrifice of leaving their own families behind to immigrate to a foreign country worth it.
Chief
Eh...is your mom a moocher? My parents would never take any money from me so telling them allows them to be proud of my success. My success is their success so they view it as an achievement.
Get over yourself and respect your parents. Maybe they just want to brag about you. A lot of us wish we still had a parent.
Enthusiast
You can respect your parents without feeling like you have to share information you don’t feel comfortable sharing.
Chief
I won't tell you what to do.... but only share my personal experience.
I started off sharing openly, not out of respect, but trust and openness. No need to hide anything.
Then, they started to ask me to pay for more and more bills as my income went up, not allowing me to safe for my own place or take my girlfriend out to nice dates. They also do compare/complain if I don't gift "nicer things" over the holidays or birthdays. They think it should scale up with my income.
I eventually stopped sharing and moved out completely, so really no need to pay for anything or tell them anything.
Looking back, my parents didn't share how much they made with me... so why bother?
Note: I have a strained relationship with my family now, especially since I'm earning USD and they are not.
Pro
It depends on your relationship with your parents I guess. I’m very close with mine and I’m an only child so there’s always been this implicit notion that any money is shared between all of us (this has expanded to my husband and his family too) so we’re very open about how much we make, have saved etc. I know if we ever needed anything my parents would “loan” us the money (meaning basically just give us the money) if they had it and we would have no issues helping out our parents. I guess because we’re close, we see it as like a family pool of savings rather than mine and theirs. I’m sure this is different in every family.
Pro
As an aside, this thread is making me realize how lucky I am to have the family I do. Mental note to set up a family zoom this weekend.
Enthusiast
Regardless of what your salary actually is, your mom is going to think it's a lot by comparing it to what salary she expects, which is from a totally different generation. She also likely doesn't realize all the expenses our generation has - student loans, rent, car payment, phone bill, groceries, etc. not to mention other paycheck withholdings - taxes, HSA, 401k, health insurance. Those easily take 50-70% of monthly salary. Now, if your mom is paying for ANY of those things for you, you need to stop that and pay yourself. Perhaps that is the source of her animosity
Many studies show how expenses rent especially is a much larger portion of income than in previous generations.
It’s not a big deal to tell your parents, my parents know both how much I make and how much I have in the bank (my mom asks because she has this idea in her head that I throw all my money on travel and will die with nothing but my Nintendo switch on my hands). But, it’s really your call, you shouldn’t share info you’re not comfortable sharing.
Rising Star
Eh, little bit of overthinking and a little lack of respect from parents.
-Over thinking- is this a problem for you to talk about in general or just them? Do you feel ashamed of making a lot of money? Are you making more than them? These are some questions you could ask yourself to get to the root cause of why you feel uncomfortable about it. In general though, they’re your parents. Ideally you should be able to be open about your life, and be proud of your success.
-Respect- if you really feel awkward or uncomfortable, your parents shouldn’t push you on it, they should be able to respect your wishes of not sharing that part of your life. If they don’t, mention that you are uncomfortable by it. If they insist, say something like, “I make enough for me to love the life I want now and to save”. It’s enough to be accurate and to BS your way out of sharing more than you’d like.
Don’t tell them. If they want to know that bad they likely have a reason. I tell my parents, but I’m just starting out and they’ve never pressured me. My grandparents on the other hand found out how much my uncle makes. They use it to brag to the family and to their friends and judge him on holidays by how much he gives vs what he makes. Both of my grandparents ask me how much I make all the time, and I evade with questions like enough to not worry but not too much where I don’t have to watch my spending. Not everyone in my family went to college, and I don’t want to be THAT person. It can cause jealousy and resentment is what I’ve noticed.
I personally don't think its a big deal. I'm close to my parents and definitely tell them how much I make. But guess its a personal choice
Enthusiast
I stopped telling my family after my full time offer at pwc. My parents didn’t go to college and don’t get paid too well. I didn’t have much growing up either, so I have a strong feeling if I disclose my salary after every pay raise, they’re going to expect even more from me financially every birthday, holiday, etc. They already do based on the thinking I made 49k my first year. Which honestly isn’t a lot. But they think I can afford luxury gifts for them now.
Rising Star
No don’t say. I am worried if anyone finds out my SO and my combined income they will act differently
@M1 - as someone who rose out of poverty to get where I am, my family would absolutely act differently knowing exactly how much I make. When I broke the 100k salary barrier, I just stopped sharing anything about money with my family. I mean, I have a big house, nice things, and they get pretty cool Xmas gifts, so it isn't a secret, but their lives are so far away from where I'm at - I live in a higher COL city, own a home in a place with high property tax, work an insane amount of hours, etc. There is a cost to owning and maintenance of nice things - but my family is so poor they just don't get it
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Disclosing your income is a personal choice and you should do what is comfortable. Personally, I’m open with it with almost everyone as I don’t think it should be taboo to discuss.
Wish I never told my parents. I still live at home, and since it’s hard for them to make ends meet, they expect a certain amount of money from me every month. If I try to lower that amount to make room for other bills, they get really defensive and angry. My dad said he used to give away two paychecks to his parents (he got paid weekly), so I am expected to do similarly.
Please understand that I have no problem helping them, but to expect me to give a certain amount and get angry if they don’t receive it “on time” or if I try to reduce the amount is ridiculous. Not to mention I help with the groceries and pay for all of my own bills. The amount I pay them is equivalent to really cheap rent in my state. I know I could move out, but there are other personal reasons for not doing so at this time.
Because they know how much I earn, they think I’m swimming in money (I am earning a little above entry level salary). Unfortunately, they are not aware of how much debt I have, and even if I bring that up, they say they have debt too. I’ve been asked why I don’t have emergency savings, but after I was able to save some, they got mad that I didn’t use my savings to give them a loan to pay their bills.
Sometimes I feel like I’m running a hamster wheel. There’s peace when we aren’t discussing financial issues, but things are left unresolved and tensions build up, leading to explosive conversations later.
My biggest problem is that it’s easy to guilt trip me, and I also feel bad for them and their financial situation. However, I think it’s selfish to prevent your kids from becoming financially better off because you’re not doing well yourself, including getting angry when they go out to eat or do other activities with their hard-earned leftover money.
Whatever an individual does with their money their business. I’m hoping to get a new job soon, and when I do, I’m not sharing my salary.
I don’t like telling my parents because my dad has viewed it as a competition for who makes more than him. I personally don’t really care. My in laws probably roughly know
what my husband and I make and then use it to say that my BIL makes half of what we make and then proceeds to still pay for everything for him and his fiancé at the age of 27. ‘Because they make so much less than what we do.’
So it’s hard to say yes tell her.
Rising Star
Parents never asked and I have never told them.