My annual perf discussion is monday morning. I work on a tough team for a tough place. I think Im a pretty good/almost high performer but only around 3 years and my boss seems to still act like I’m brand new (lifer boomer). I try to tell myself he has 6 direct reports and has to do this with everyone, Im no more or no less special - but I hate these convos and negative feedback even when most of it is unsurprising/fair feedback. Any tips? Just need to get through it! HR people are not immune!

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Try and keep track during the year of what do you well / better than others / not well. Your manager probably doesn t remember what happened during the period so you need to do the analysis work of proving your worth yourself.
If feedback is hard but you want it, try and think how you would like to receive feedback: in writing before / follow up notes. Try and communicate to your manager that you want the feedback but need a minute to process it and want to follow up in your next 1:1 for example.
If you really hate all this but want to do better check the forem. They have a program called level up that helps manage your manager, create visibility for your work and... level up finally, keep records of all this, through the years a and your careers it can be very helpful to set personal development goals and evaluate how you are growing.
Good luck!

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Look, just focus on things you can control and on your response. Try and play out all possible scenarios and prepare your responses.
Also, don’t forget that feedback is a two way street and it seems like you need to ask your boss for more continuous feedback. I think as an HR you may say “hey, there is a trend in HR to have more frequent but less pressuring feedback sessions, it’s called continuous feedback. As a person who is very anxious when the time comes, I think it could be very helpful to my performance. What would you say if we try it as a pilot between you and me? Like having feedback sessions more often. And then maybe we can offer it to the rest of organization.”

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Sr mgr level

You know your boss and I certainly don’t but I always find that honesty is the best policy. How about you come to the meeting prepared to share your thoughts on what you are doing well and what you would like to improve upon and could use his support with. That way you take control of the conversation. If you also feel as if there’s not enough positive reinforcement when things go well you should share that too. And above all else be prepared to share examples.

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