{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "What are you thoughts on splitting shared expenses 50/50 or proportionate to income with SO? What if both make over $175k but there is still a significant % delta (30%+)? Mid 20s, bought a condo together (split 50/50) and will likely get engaged soon.", "post_id": "60fdfba56629f20028411d23", "reply_count": 23, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "5b3f7377ab53db00136f7b4c", "bowl_name": "FIRE Financial Independence Retire Early" }

What are you thoughts on splitting shared expenses 50/50 or proportionate to income with SO? What if both make over $175k but there is still a significant % delta (30%+)? Mid 20s, bought a condo together (split 50/50) and will likely get engaged soon.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

If the housing costs aren’t uncomfortable on either budget - i.e. they don’t exceed 40% of gross for either party, then I recommend going 50/50 just like you would a roommate - which is technically what you are if not married and no partnership agreement is in place. Once my husband and I got engaged we opened a joint account and both contributed equal dollars to it for shared expenses, including a new home. I made a bit more and had a lot more wealth but knew he’s catch up soon. And if we’d split I’d have wanted to keep things 50/50 anyway.

like

pro rated

like

What I would ask is why you’re getting married? It is one institution I just never understood. The split of expenses depends on what you’re both comfortable with, however.

like

Probably depends on 1)if you're planning on having kids and 2) if your partner is planning on doing FIRE as well. Those will affect how/if you combine finances.

like

Ok, I'd split the condo 50/50 until you're married then. Other expenses should be either according to income, or taking turns paying. When I moved in with my husband, we paid rent proportionate to what we had been paying previously when we lived alone. That way it was in line with how much we prioritized housing.

You’re in your mid-20s and both make over 175k? I think you should just join everything unless you plan on getting divorced.

like

50 50 chance it happens

like

If you will be keeping your assets separate even after you are married then consider a prenup. Consult with a family law attorney in your area on whether that is right for you or not. Getting a prenup does not mean you are planning for divorce. It is one among many prudent investment decisions where it is appropriate. On a non-legal note: you don’t know the future and one of you could have a medical event or something else come up later that means that person’s income reduces significantly. You should discuss now what will happen with paying expenses if one of you no longer makes a significant amount of money. Also, consult with a financial advisor who can do financial projections because you may be able to earn more from your investments by pooling your funds together. You can pool a portion of your assets and then separate the interest/gain when it is distributed. NOTE: I am not a financial advisor. So, consult with one to determine if that will be correct for you or not.

like

Yes we have talked about getting a prenup. We are both pretty logical and reasonable when it comes to finances

First get married I would say but definitely have the financial conversation with a marriage counselor before that... 50/50 is fair if both make the same income

My question was based on both making high income ($175k+ but with still a decent level of % delta…. Ie $200 vs $300)

What do both of you do??

(My analyst title is outdated)

Here’s what we do in my marriage: I pay all of the main expenses. I’m a better admin person so it just makes sense. Both of us contribute each pay period a pre-defined amount to savings based on the fact that 1) I pay all the main expenses and therefore have less to contribute to savings and 2) based on our respective incomes The rest we keep in separate accounts and don’t micromanage each other. Note: we are both frugal AF so there are no trust issues about the personal accounts.

I’d split it evenly.

There are pros/cons of keeping finances separate. Because we combine, I'm gonna highlight pros for combining/cons for separating. - You'd never be able to figure an equitable split if separate. 50/50? But you earn more; Proportionate? Well why should I get punished by paying more for b/c I earn more; can go on. - If you combine, divide labor, and the better skilled person can manage the finances, allowing other party to focus on other family improving tasks. You both are board of directors, with a CFO/VP doing operational activities If there is a divorce in your future, then combining is not for you.

Given you’ve already bought a condo together…..Get a pre-nuptial agreement that is valid if you split up before getting married. Have some deep heart felt convos about how money is going to work when you actually get married. How are you going to handle the $20 you spent yesterday (and the 6000 other times) for groceries or the new car your spouse wants to buy just because the last new car is over a year old? What about working (or not) after the kids come along? - it can be difficult for some folks to stay in their careers either at all or at the level they were once at when the kids come. How will you handle finances if the disparity between your incomes grows? Come to a decision matrix you can live with. For us - putting it all in one pot works - we have similar philosophies on spending -both neither overly frugal (although I lean that way) nor overly spendy. We don’t think at all about the 6000 times we buy something small. We do look at our overall budget but we’ve been in the fortunate position that we’ve never had to cut back. We started out with me making significantly more than him but when the kids came, I cut back my career to take care of them so now he makes about 10x what I make. We discuss big items (think cars and homes not toaster ovens). I make all the financial/investment decisions, pay all the bills, taxes, etc. He sometimes will say “he lets buy this stock” or whatever and I will usually do that but mostly he just asks what are net worth is every once in a while and I’ll tell him.

Wow making 10x. What income levels are talking about here? So you have drastically different incomes, however it all goes into joint accounts, and a detailed pre-nup in place?

At the income levels you’re at I would just do everything 50:50 if you’re not doing joint finances.

Just do 50/50, much easier, and easier transition to married life

Related Posts

The manager on my project likes to ask another more junior woman do some "admin" stuff, such as book meetings, take notes, and even book his flight!! I really want to help this junior woman not do the admin stuff that much. What can I do?

like

Is anyone in general just disappointed with the state of the world with covid? I feel like we’re sorta back to square one and I’ll never get the work travel perks again

like

How does Deloitte corporate Amex work? Am I expected to use it for all travel? Or can I book hotels etc on personal and expense them later. If it matters, I am joining FDD practice

like

For (formerly) traveling consultants - has your firm begun to travel? Any travel starting back up on the horizon? Please be sure to indicate what region/country you're from

like

Another F500, Erie Insurance, has suspended all travel.

like

Best use of 50,000 Etihad Guest Miles?

like

How does everyone feel about people that "earn" their status through credit card spending? Came up in conversation about points with a family friend last weekend

like

Is firm travel back up to pre covid levels?

like

Hey everyone! Recent transplant (26 F) who moved here during Covid (family reasons) so still not quite familiar with the areas. I’m currently living in Brentwood but looking to move. I’m considering Marina Del Rey as I want to be a bit closer to the office (in Venice) and the airport for when things open back up/travel resumes. I tried searching here but didn’t see a lot - what is the reputation of Mar Vista (and if possible - how is that different than Brentwood?). All opinions welcome! 🙂

like

If you get a project in Atlanta.. the Westin ok Peachtree has one of the best gyms for a hotel ever. Cardio machines, free weights, TRX the whole 9

like

When I own my own hotel I'm going to...

like

In house lawyers for global companies: do you expect your international travel to rebound - ever? I am at a firm where I practice in government enforcement and investigations, and I always saw myself going in house to do this work and travel abroad frequently. Are those days gone because of zoom?

like

Currently at Booz Allen Member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.

I've developed an unusual amount of distain for the rapping girl in the Virgin America safety video...

like

Need to get a COVID-19 test for international travel. Anyone knows how soon it can done before travel and any places in Jersey City that do it?

like

How does on get global services on United. Anyone figure out the threshold yet? Based on experience, it's not miles. If it's spend, and Platinum is $12K PQD, maybe it's $20K PQD?

like

Which OneWorld partner has the best 1st class? Have some miles to burn

like

Need points help: current Delta gold, only 7000 MQMs from plat for 2017 but current project ends soon and expecting to fly Star Alliance. Should I stop before hitting plat to carry MQMs for 2018?

like

Additional Posts

like

My firm is starting Green Card process for me. My issue is that I cannot get an EVL from the previous employer (a US company, worked in 4 years). Is there an alternative option? Thank you!

If you are separated from your firm and you are kept on payroll for an additional month to facilitate payout of severance when does the 60 day grace period count start? Is it on the last day on payrl?

Adobe recruiter reached out for a Sr. Solutions Architect role. If you are familiar with this role, I would greatly appreciate if you could share information on what exactly it entails. I did some research online and while there wasn't much info, the impression I'm getting is that it's a Sales Engineer/Customer Success Engineer type role? It sounded like the role will be focused on the discovery and RFP side of the project life cycle. I think the term is pre-sales?

like

Chicago Tribune: Huge crowd gathers at Rotary Hill near Naperville District 203 offices to demand area schools reopen. Hundreds of Naperville-area parents & students rallied Monday to urge local school boards to bring students back to the classroom and the playing field. Hmm...so all these parents just want to send their kids into schools do die, right? And kill all the teachers and their families too. All out of pure selfishness.

like

How many companies can you manage interviewing for at the same time without getting overwhelmed?

like

Does IBM GBS provide reimbursement for WFH setup ? I heard there will be 45k balance per employee where we can claim broadband and other expenses through bond portal. Can anyone throw some light on this if you have any idea ?

like

Considering the FRM certification. Those who’ve taken it, how quant heavy is it? I have a compliance risk background and don’t have a deep math or statistics background. However, I want to expand my skillset. Any thoughts?

like

Anyone have the latest PwC comp grid?

like

Are there any ways to get practice at public speaking besides Toastmasters? Obviously things are very not normal in this area because of Covid but thinking more long-term. Ideally this option would be free. Thank you!

like

Southwest flight attendant— first inflate your own life jackets and then help your kids. . . . If you you have 2, pick your favorite 🤷🏻‍♂️

likefunny
like

Looking for a new opportunity in the social strategy/community management space. Any agencies you’d recommend to look into (bonus if any are hiring)?

like

Calling out data scientist EY FSO. What’s the culture, projects and work life balance like? Trying to gauge a DS opportunity there and any thoughts would be much appreciated!

like

Women! Do u think you are at par with your male peers in terms of salary and title? If so, how have you negotiated that?

like

Divorced M 🐠 here who's scared of commitment now. For people looking for an LTR, how certain are you about someone b4 you decide to go exclusive? For e.g. 25% or 75% that he/she is the right person?

What are some of the best consumer tech firms to target in Europe? Looking for a right fit after 5 years in MBB consulting. Wanted to check specifically about firms such as N26, Revolut, Delivery Hero, GetYourGuide as I found roles in them.

like

What does your firm allow you to count towards non-billable hours other than standard business development?

likehelpful

Considering a design lead role in industry, what salary range should I expect/ask for? For context, I have more than 6 years of experience (mix of industry and consulting).

Does anyone know of an indian passport holder who travelled from india to usa via emirates or qatar. Very conflicting advice online on what bubble means. Also gulf carriers are selling tickets for indian pp holders to travel via them to usa

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal