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Like all things in our line of work: planning. Prior to kids, my wife and I were very spontaneous. Like “let’s go to the airport and catch a flight somewhere”. When you have kids, you lose that sort of flexibility. To have those special moments together, it requires intentionality and planning. We very intentional about “date night”. We’ve started doing a steakhouse a month sort of thing. We both get dressed up and do our best to make it feel like we’re “dating” again. If you want something to feel special, you have to make it feel different from the norm.
You already solved it by noticing. Just take the quick wins - eg dinner date, not take out, occasional movie, watch Netflix together and talk about the show, etc.
Happens with us too. I think it gets easier as they grow, but maybe go out to dinner with others without kids?
Post bedtime is key for us. We started doing some joint workouts together. We play games (card, chess, board). Or just intentionally sit and cuddle up to watch tv if that’s what we need. It’s not every night but we work hard for it to be more than not.
We’re 100% full on until 8pm, then have to decide whether we 1) go straight to bed before waking at 5am, 2) spend time together, 3) take a minute for ourselves
The struggle is real, but I’ve heard gets easier when the kids are more independent
Spend personal time with each other even if it requires spending money on expensive baby sitter. This will make your relationship healthy and long lasting. It’s an investment.
Love this idea. Gentle reminder some of don’t have money to spend
1) Why is not a date when you grab dinner? I’ve found it helps to dress up and make it feel like a date 2) Do you have family close by? We try and take a trip once a year just the 2 of us - even if it’s 2 or 3 days and leave kids with the Gparents 3) This is crude but our woman pastor told us 60% of a good marriage happens in the bed lol - physical intimacy should always be prioritized.
I left out the “dress up” aspect, like we just went for a meal not exactly special you know? But yes, we have family close by. I was thinking of a weekend trip. And yeah; I hear that last part lol