Anyone else unhappy with their marriage but love their kids too much to ever consider ending it?

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Your marriage is infinitely more impactful
to your and your children’s life experience than your career. We’re here in the consulting bowl, and I just made some assumptions about you but do the work.
Imagine asking yourself on your deathbed whether working through this was worth it long term

likesmart

Sorry career actually isnt too much an issue in my case. Its more just the romance has died in my marriage and we are merely cohabitating with kids is our relationship. I want to make it work but sometimes I wonder if I am fighting a losing battle

if romance died, whose fault is it? it's up to us to keep the flame alive. Besides, marriages are hard, even for those who have romance. Lots of days will be just normal boring days.. We all go through that. Find ways to spice up the relationship and make a committed effort.... For my wife and I, divorce isn't an option.. We can't just up and out cos we don't feel or feel one way or the other.. I have found out that being committed to that goal helps whenever we have barren spots or disagreements.. Gives me a perspective on what's important and what direction to go

Please check and self examine to understand why the fire has gone out... But understand that...its normal in a relationship... Just can't up and out cos of that.. Even folks who are in love 24/7 have days that are a drag in the relationship..

likesmart

Feel exactly the same way OP

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Aw man, this breaks my heart. It's a real thing though. I have def had to face this reality in my early 20s and decided to get a divorce.

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Full disclosure I’ve been battling with this decision for the past two years. We’ve gone to therapy together and individually but I continue to feel like we’ve both changed and now our personalities clash with each other. My stress has caused autoimmune issues but I’m so worried about my sons well-being that I keep telling myself “just make it until summer and see how you feel”. It’s becoming a sad, soul sucking endeavor to keep this thing alive. I wish it wasn’t this way bc I love her so much.

Yeah pretty much. Our kid is pretty young too. I can’t imagine doing some halftime thing. Sort of lost on what to do.

Yes. Toby. But Kate was adamant.

I did for a decade waiting for kids to head out to college. Was it worth it? I don’t know. Divorcing now and maybe I should have not waited. Impossible to tell

I don’t like the idea of my LO growing up in a broken home or having to reconcile loyalties between real dad and potential step dad. I also know my wife will not make coparenting easy.

For those reasons, I will continue to stick it out and do everything to keep the peace at my house. This is not the marriage either of us imagined but I acknowledge that neither of us easy people to love or live with.

I will starting this summer pay more attention to other relationships I have ignored to make this marriage work (e.g. faith, parents, siblings, cousins, friends)

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