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I’m better at my job. I work faster because I have very real time constraints of nanny hours and bathtime and bedtime to deal with. Do I work around the clock and lean in and consistently go the extra mile? No, I do not. I prioritize my child and my sleep. However I’m on email before anyone else is up and am available for most of 12-hours/day. My career is still extremely important to me but by and far I have way more boundaries and refuse to put up with a lot of the shit I did before.
Same. Same. Same.
I used to put so much thought and so much TIME into my work, and now... I can't. I am definitely more efficient, more focused, more respectful of others' time as well as my own, better at drawing boundaries.
But I don't feel like I'm able to perform at the same level these days. My baby is still under a year so maybe I'm still adjusting. Or maybe I'm being hard on myself.
I thought my career would still be a central focus in my life and it kind of is due to inertia... But i feel a lot more "whatever" about it now. Like I'm constantly trying to do so much for my kid, for my household, for my work, and daily I feel like these expectations just aren't fair or realistic. I know a lot of moms don't feel the same way, so I am respectful of that, but I am also like SOCIETY JUST ACKNOWLEDGE THIS IS AN UNFAIR EXPECTATION. I'm not going to have the bandwidth I used to. I need to accept that and so does everyone else in my life.
Also, bandwidth is not necessarily quality. I felt like that in the first year too, now I think I’m just more efficient than I used to be. I make more decisions on my own rather than spending the time I don’t have checking with others, so my solves end up coming more polished and finalized, not a whole lot of room for back and forth. I think people tend to appreciate that actually.
Well that’s a good question. I’m more focused to get things done because I have other priorities. Pre-kids I stayed a lot later but I also indulged a lot more in tasks that were likely unnecessary in the scheme of things. Before, my job was my career and social life. All the things. Now, I share priorities with my kids and job. My job is actually my relief. With my job, I get lunch and moments to myself sometimes. I do consider myself more scattered as a mom. I have so many balls in the air that I can’t possibly manage it all. If I’m killing it as a mom, I’m likely dropping the ball at work, and vice versa. I miss being able to sit and think. I feel like I had that before. As a mom, I don’t have the time or energy for employee drama. I have enough at home. That’s helpful in nipping things in the bud at work. Are you considering having children and wondering how it will affect your job?
Also just to clarify, I’m a solo parent. Adds extra everything to the mix.
Im better at my job now than I was before. I'm more confident and care less about what other people think of me. I have so many other things to worry about at home, it's nice to be at work and focus on myself and my career.
I care less about what I do, but it’s because I hate my job. I get more annoyed some days of the level of stupidity dealt with, and some days rolls off my shoulders better. I used to get more excitable about things, but none of it matters. I want a career but unsure of what that is. End result? Happy to have a decent paycheck for now and flexibility with being remote.
Yes. Because I’m doing it for my kids not for myself, and I love them more than I love myself so I am extra motivated to set an example of hard work and also provide them a life without too much financial worry (unlike the one i was raised with)
Better
I am, yes.
Yes if the ask is to figure out interesting problems because I’m older, think faster, am more interested in more things and have a broader worldview now. If the ask is to churn and burn, I’m not the one and am very ok to be clear about that.
I’m utterly exhausted most the time (have 2 under 4), but I’ve switched jobs and gone to 4 days a week which helps a lot. I’ve been lucky to have supportive bosses who are also parents and still see the value in my more focused contributions. I do feel like a slacker sometimes since it is hard to go the extra mile... but maintaining the work life balance I’ve created is the only way I can stay sane and a working mom.
I’m better now, not because I have a kid but because I’ve continued to get better with experience.
I’m better at my job, because I’ve gained more experience since then. I just don’t have *time* for my job. Ha.