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Rising Star
Rising Star
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For folks whose own and SO’s family live far away….how do you manage childcare? I understand nannies for the day but as I think of multi day outings, would prefer a family member to care for my child. What have others in this long distance situation done? They say it takes a village to raise a child but both our “villages” in terms of family are far away
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Anyway how was your weekend?
What’s the word on Foley Hoag LLP?
Chief
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Chief
If he leaves you when he sees you not all done up, you don’t want him anyway. If he wanted his ex, he’d go back to her whether or not you wear makeup.
To answer your question tho, whenever that first sleepover happens. So usually within a few weeks. After that, I wear makeup on any dates (because I like to, not for him) but if we’re just hanging out then I’m usually makeup free.
Chief
Same. If they see me naked, they see me without makeup.
Jesus Christ, why are you doing this to yourself? Do you really want someone who NEEDS MAKEUP not to leave you? Do you realize you’re going to get older and less conventionally attractive anyway? Shouldn’t love be more than… this? I bet you are beautiful. What does HE DO to make you attracted to him?
But replying to your message, first month dating probably the person has seen me without makeup. This shit is not good for our skin and I love myself
If you can’t show your boyfriend your real face in the first month.. that’s sad. If you are feeling like he is too good looking and can pull anyone then you are basically feeling insecure and that’s not a good feeling. You need to show him your real face and if he doesn’t like you your natural self.. sorry fam, he needs to be left.
Wait - what do you do at bed time and when you wake up?
And you’ve been doing that for TWO years? Does he sleep over every night? Are you sure you’re not a side piece????
Quick fact - A Reuters study confirmed earlier research of a divorce or separation rate among cancer patients of 11.6 percent, similar to the general population, but found the rate jumped to 20.8 percent when the woman was sick versus 2.9 percent when the man was ill. Forget the makeup- find the right man.
Preach!
Also curios how old you are? If you're still looking to have children, baby, he's gonna see much uglier than a make-free face 😅. No in all seriousness, I've stopped getting dolled up for first dates so I don't have to feel pressure later on. I get dolled up when I WANT to. I'm 40+ and dgaf, so there's that.
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 my type of friend. IDGAF either. The only person I want to impress is myself. That’s about it.
Never wear makeup on first dates to see if they generally like me for me! Then less upkeep in the future, unless I want to wear makeup.
You've been with your SO for 2 years, and he doesn't know what you really look like?! I'm sorry but that's just awful. You should not feel compelled to wear makeup or look a certain way for fear of him dumping you.
After we've slept together lol. If you can see my vagina then you can see me without makeup
Right?
2 years and he’s not seen you sans makeup?? That is pretty incredible. Only you really can say… do you look reasonably normal without it? I’d say it’s time to phase it in and see what happens. It’s just not realistic to continue indefinitely any other way 🤷♀️
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Wait.. Hasn’t he noticed?? Or asked you about it? I mean I’m sure he’d say something waking up next to you in makeup, right? Something doesn’t seem right honestly. I’d want the guy to just be like - babe, why is your makeup still on in bed or something like that.
This was my first thought. I would want to leave based on him not saying something. None of this is healthy or realistic
Girl… one day you will get tired of wearing makeup and also tired of pretending… if he’s going to leave you for not wearing makeup, then that might be for the best. It’s not all about the looks. Beauty fades no matter how much botox, fillers and makeup you use. You can’t compete with every single beautiful women out there.
100% what she said, AND you should never HAVE to 'compete' for your SO. You're either together or not. Yes, make an effort for the other person, but that effort is more than skin deep.
Wasn't wearing any of that when we met.
You can certainly choose to wear anything but no one HAS to show up looking a certain way.
Lol. That is dedication. No one is worth that much effort I assure you.
One of the reasons I married my husband is that within the first few dates I was super sick and he stuck around for the night on a weekend to help me. He’s a man I trust 100%. It has nothing to do with his looks or mine. That’s the person you need to find.
girl I understand you’re insecure but you need to let him love you for the real you, flaws and makeup less and all, for the relationship to work and for your insecurities to go away. it sounds like you’re keeping up walls to “keep” him, which isn’t healthy for anyone
If he is into you, i sure hope he is into your personality, your heart, your values, your mindset, aka inner beauty and not your look.
It is not about him staying or leaving you. It is about you, whether you feel secure in your own skin, and where you tie yourself worth to. Seem like you associate your self worth with your look. And because of that, you project that mindset onto you bf. Sometimes it is not necessarily the case.
1. Him saying you're not his type is messed up. It's been 2 years, if he hasn't brought it back up I would let it go. If he has brought it back up, I would let him go
2. Maybe try a gradual approach. I've never done "full glam" but when going out will do mascara, eye liner, light foundation on any spots I'd like to cover, but most importantly concealer. I have hereditary dark circles around my eyes that I'm self conscious about. Early on in dating I would always have my concealer on but remove any other makeup. Figure out what your comfort level is, and over time you'll get used to being around him sans makeup.
Rising Star
Once we are spending the night together regularly, and I'm bringing an overnight bag lol. I wash my face and take off makeup before bed. So for me, this happens 2-3 months in. I also wear minimal makeup with some eye shadow and powder foundation.
Whaaat? I held my farts with my now husband when we were dating. He thought I was very dainty. Now 8 years in, I let it rip, louder the better :) all to say that your partner shouldn’t care and mine engages in healthy banter too so yeah this sounds really sad to me that you feel the need to be made up all the time. You are enough as you are, makeup or no makeup.
Aww…sweetie … this is so unhealthy in so many ways. Walking on eggshells around your partner has to be mentally exhausting and never letting your skin breathe is so bad for you! First of all, You need to be comfortable with you before you can expect anyone else to. And I think the suggestions of phasing out the makeup, while we’ll intentioned, are misguided. Nobody’s natural look should be that shocking to someone that they throw you out of their life. Also, after two years, you should be able to have an adult conversation with him and share what you’re feeling. If he says anything negative then you have your answer and you’re honestly better without him. At this point, you should be able to fully be yourselves around each other. Good luck and let us know how it goes.