Breaking News: United airlines bans all on board devices to ensure continued passenger compliance

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"I am the captain now."

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Also issued this statement: 'the beatings will continue until moral improves'

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United has now hired packs of angry deer to subdue passengers. http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/deer-canadian-man-tackled-deer/story?id=46713713

Sky law is in effect now

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