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I wish I had a therapist as a kid. I have friends who had therapists as children and I find them to be much more emotionally resourceful adults than myself or most other people. The stigma is far less nowadays, it will only affect him as much as you encourage or discourage it.
Pro
Will help tremendously with the adhd. Have inattentive, diagnosed as a kid. Center it around a tutor.
Pro
Same thing as someone else said, a coach. But also for school, an educational tutor with knowledge of adhd will help. I barely made it through without one.
Whether they feel like there’s a stigma is how YOU treat it and talk about it with them. I think it could help immensely with the ADHD symptoms. So much better to help them get a handle on it now than later when they’re frustrated and don’t understand why they feel that way.
I would think seeing a therapist would make your child feel BETTER about himself. As far as stigma goes, it’s no one’s business that he’s in therapy, outside of your immediate family. Even if it did become public, the well-being of your child should always come first. Finally, therapy doesn’t have the stigma it did, say, 20 years ago. People opening talk about seeing therapists today.
Or is the real issue the stigma you might feel among your peers?
Our 14 year old son has ADHD (as do I, 50 year old male) and thrived/continues to with his therapist. We called him his “coach”, explaining that everyone needs help with stuff. Now he talks about it openly witb his friends. Stigma is perceived I think, not necessarily real if you lens it properly.
I had therapy as a kid and it set me up to feel completely normal about needing even more therapy as an adult!
My 8 year old goes to a therapist for similar issues and it's the best thing we've done for him.
I wish I had that as a kid. I’m in my 40s and now unraveling all of the things that came along with ADHD as a kid.
You’d be giving him longer to learn and practice skills he’ll need his whole life - sounds good to me 👍
A good therapist wont make your kid feel any stigma. I really thought I was just going to play games and talk about school, it was great.
Yes. I had one starting at age 7, but was also experiencing some pretty major events at the time. I don’t know how much it helped to be honest, but I also can’t say what I would be like today if I hadn’t started therapy that early so I guess there’s that.
Yes, I went and it was very helpful. Adhd can be crippling if it’s not diagnosed and treated, so best to get help for that as early as possible
Your wife is suggesting the right thing! Everyone is doing therapy nowadays, so there’s no longer a stigma with it. Hopefully you don’t cause him to think it’s not normal.
There should be no stigma surrounding therapy. In fact people who haven’t been to therapy should be stigmatized.
Chief
Literally everyone should have a therapist, kids included. There’s only a stigma if you make one. Had one starting around 11, very helpful.
The stigma isn’t the same as it used to be. I think a lot of parents (me included) initially feel that way because it sort of feels like we’re failing as parents. But your kids not going to approach it that way. My nine year old has seen a therapist off and on for about two years for anxiety and it’s been great. Lots of really practical coping skills that she can implement in addition to having another trust adult she can confide in.
I describe it as “on and off” because after the initial six months or so, we, along with the therapist, let it be my daughter’s choice how often she needed to go. So often times she’d feel good and capable of handling things without the extra help. And on the occasions when she felt like life was getting a bit overwhelming, we schedule her in for a few weeks. Of course, we’d always consult with the therapist before suspending therapy (she was very supportive of this approach).
All in all, therapy has been a very positive experience for my kid, and giving her a fair amount of control over when she needed it was empowering.
Thank you everyone who provided your response. Beyond helpful and much appreciated!
I echo what everyone else has said. We did it for one of my kids to help him adjust to a similar but unrelated issue. The change in him is night and day. He’s so much happier and enjoys himself much more.
It’s not just about the adhd. It’s also about how it makes him feel. It must be tough when you don’t understand things that are easy for other kids. You don’t want him feeling like he’s lacking in some way. Therapy will help over come that.
The fact is, there’s no such thing as normal.
Please try sports or jiu-jitsu before taking them to therapy.
CBT & DBT therapy will be helpful. Maybe medication as well. I had that when I was younger and it really helped. There’s a good chance he’ll grow out of it too.