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Any body have feed back onSecurities America ?
Any fish in their 30s here?
Bowl Leader
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I’m sorry to hear. I think you can turn the conversation in a positive way. Tell your manager that you care about contributing to the team and setting them up for success. And right now you’re feeling like a lot of it has to do with being available at times you can’t, and do they have suggestions for you? So they’re aware of how you feel but also see you’re genuinely interested in their personal gain.
Other than that, it has a lot to do with the culture of your agency and you unfortunately can’t do much about it. As a former non-mom who had my all nighter cliques, I really wasn’t resentful of moms. I don’t think anyone is. They just see us as disabled/sick/absent people, like...”oh well I totally get they have a life. Meanwhile I’m not gonna stop myself from booking this 8 pm meeting because shits gotta get done.” I have never felt that anyone who couldn’t make it at 8 pm was “bad.” However those who were able to make it were definitely people I felt I could rely on the most.
But it’s the system that makes it this way. It’s professional services - you gotta deliver on a deadline and if not, and if the quality isn’t there, the business can go away. It’s a lot of pressure. And one of the only ways is to work harder and not have a life. Lawyers, consultants, people in finance...were all on the same boat.
I’ve since moved brand side and they’re much more respectful of work life balance. Because they can afford to.
I’d say, try to see if a conversation can change things, but ultimately, find a place that respects your lifestyle. You’ll be way happier and feel way more of a sense of belonging.
Pro
Gah that’s tough. I’m sorry. I’m also at an agency that values late work, and it’s impossible with kids.
Have you talked to your manager about hours and expectations? Not in a confrontational way, but more so in a “you’re my new manager let’s talk about ways of working and expectations, etc.”
This new manger hasn’t been easy to talk to, text or zoom and they don’t respond until I text again a day later. They also had a much younger friend (no kids) of one of the group that they brought in to intern and basically do my job while I was out for a couple days. No mention to me of this person, so I didn’t even know who they were and that they even did my job. I only know this looking back at some of the emails. So it looks fishy like they are trying to push me out.
You can bring it up with your manager as a concern; but that will likely not create the culture shift you are looking for.
Mention it to your manager, but also ask to be part of pet projects that take away their pain points. Get on their radar as valuable (if you want to stay).
For the team: look for the patterns of where you can work a night every week (become known as ‘lady-Thursday’ - name yourself, if you have to) — you might not be able to join every day but once a week showing up doesn’t hurt. Eventually, they will enjoy that you show up and it will feel normal. If you don’t want to do even one evening; don’t expect much.
On top of that; find the two people part of the night time group and initiate 1:1 coffee talk in the mornings every other week. Build those individual relationships - they go a long way overtime. As you go through a few cycles of people on your team (people leave and/or are let go); the climate will shift. You may be surprised by who your work bestie is in a year. Play the long game.