Do you feel like your coworkers are collaborators or competitors? Does that change how you show up day to day? Sometimes I can’t tell. On good days, it feels collaborative. We trade ideas, cover for each other, and celebrate wins, etc. But on bad days, I catch the subtle competition: people hoarding information, rushing to take credit, or quietly undermining others to get ahead. It makes me second-guess how open I should be, even with people I like.

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I am very cautious with my co-workers. Things are always great until they're not.

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It’s a mix. When someone shows you their colors, they don’t tend to change. Stay cautious with those folks. I have one colleague who is one I always have to watch my back with, but many more who are great collaborators and share credit, are real team players, etc.

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There's another lawyer in my team who I feel always tries to make me look like an idiot or tries to put me down with backhanded compliments. It's weird. Everyone else is a collaborator though. I don't know why this other lawyer is like that because technically she holds a higher position in the company. I'm a claims counsel and she's a claims manager. But we both directly report to the same person.

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I had a similar experience. I think they were insecure and thought I was the only thing between them and the bottom so they never passed up an opportunity to belittle me.

I never think about it. I like to go home, drink beer, eat dinner. Who cares?

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Trust your guts and move accordingly. There’s a reason you feel that way. Ultimately, it’s a competitive world. Collaboration is for convenience.

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I think it depends on the individual. Some colleagues I’d totally invite to my wedding/milestone events and would trust them to cover for me 100% as long as they aren’t directly negatively impacted. Others I know will not hesitate to stab you in the back.

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