Genuinely curious how others in this role manage stress levels. F Fish here and between taking care of kids, home, and my role at work, there are times I am really unsure how I'm going to make it work. I've tried meditation and that sort of thing but it doesn't really help. It might be a boundaries and time blocking issue. What works for you all?

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Haha ding, ding, ding— it’s boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. To have space to decompress and de-stress, you must first create it. You’re in a leadership role the same as me, so you are in part responsible for helping set the culture and cadence for the team— and yourself. Separate your work from your home life as much as possible. During the work day, set up structures that keep yourself and your team as efficient as possible so you’re delivering everything you need to deliver by EOD, and help set up the culture that delivers to that. Trust me, people will respect it— because no one WANTS to work late unless it is an absolutely critical moment or deadline on a project (i.e., it should be the exception, not the rule). For example: I was on a SUPER high volume / large account with an extremely demanding client where I had to devise and implement a structure that helped keep us all sane and with a life. It comprised of a daily standup first thing every morning of what we had to deliver that day, then we’d break so everyone could work, have a check-in at 3pm for CD/ECDs/CE to review internally together, then give the team a few hours to adjust against feedback, and then ping us for a final review before we shoved it out the door to client. With that structure and culture of “let’s get it done and done right so we can check out and have lives”, everyone was done by 5:30pm about 90% of the time. That’s an extreme example and I’m thankfully not on that account anymore, but it can be done— I promise you.

Always deliver great work and be accessible when you’re “on”, but the key to balance and minimizing stress is to actually shut off at some point. This company is so big that I promise you they’ll be just fine if you shut your laptop to unwind with your family and/or evening plans at the end of the day— even if it’s every day or most days. And when you check out, really check out. Highly recommend turning Teams and email notifications off on your mobile, and communicate to your team that if they need to reach you after a certain time, they’ll need to call you. You’re still accessible, but they have to choose how important it really is / if it’s worth the call. If it’s a real emergency that can’t wait, they’ll definitely call you— but 95% of the time it’s not, so protect your mental space from those pings and notifications in the meantime. This will minimize you feeling like you need to work and respond after you’ve already checked out to balance the rest of your life. And if your kids have doc appts or school plays or whatever, just communicate when you’ll be unreachable for those things so you can be with your family. Those types of things are typically very respected by your colleagues and leadership, but you also have to respect it by not checking your emails/chats until you get back. Mentally separate! The work will always be there, and you will always be able to catch up.

I’ll also say this: while this job can be majorly draining/stressful, do things that give you energy and lift your spirits to help balance yourself out. There’s a trap in the downtime of “I’m so exhausted that I can’t _____”, but if you don’t replace that energy/regenerate, you start the next day off at a deficit of energy and the vicious cycle repeats. But if you fill little pockets of time with things that get you excited and joyful, you’ll feel way less drained/stressed on a day-to-day basis. The initial hurdle of just doing it is the hardest part, but the more you do it, the easier it gets and the more cumulative joy / energy you have (and conversely, the less stress from day to day).

I’m extraordinarily long-winded, but with the best of intentions from a career of learning the how-to of these things. Hugs, and good luck!

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This is great advice. It’s also a great idea to immediately extricate yourself from any situation where you are constantly briefed at 8:30 for something due at 3.

I ride my bike a lot. And care more deeply about the stuff I do outside of work than I do about my job. Makes all the difference with my stress levels and the quality of the work.

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