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[Preface: The following isn’t intended to be condescending in any way. You may already be totally aware and on top of all of the below info. And if this isn’t your first kid feel free to disregard entirely. It’s mostly just the stuff my wife wishes someone had told her leading up to having our son.]
While some people’s experience might allow for stuff like that, with my wife it was a very anxious couple months without much leisure time. She felt really helpless and overwhelmed and like she was supposed to know a million new things every day and couldn’t keep up. And with higher stakes than anything she’d ever done before. Not trying to be an alarmist, and hopefully that won’t be the case for you. Just offering a friendly heads up not to go into it with too many expectations of having a ton of time to yourself. And hopefully you have a partner who understands that they share this new responsibility equally with you. Even if biology drops the majority of “physical” parenting on moms in the beginning, that should be viewed as an invitation to proactively pick up the slack everywhere else. Also, give visitors like friends and non-immediate family clear visiting times with both when you want them to show up and, more importantly, leave. And if they ask if there’s anything they can do to help don’t be vague. It’s way more helpful for them to be assigned brining dinner over next Tuesday than to just come up with something on their own. And it’s
Way better for you knowing dinner next Tuesday is one less thing to worry about
And congrats!
This is totally spot on. Non-parents read the last part. Bring food. Or beer or wine. Or both. Or send people $25 to seamless just because.
I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt even though I instantly want to assume you think mat leave is a vacation which.. oh boy, you’re in for a ride. When I wasn’t trying to sleep or keep baby from crying or changing diapers, I was breastfeeding and watching quite a bit of Netflix (The Letdown is great, as are easy shows that can help keep you awake for the millionth feeds when you’re so sleep deprived that you just want to cry). Everyone’s experience is different, but you are literally in survival mode, not branching it up with friends and trying to learn new hobbies. Your new hobby is trying to keep yourself and baby alive, keep the physical pain at bay, rest, and learn to be coherent on little to no sleep.
Part of this is going to depend on your kid. My daughter was not a super huge fan of sleep and/or any form of separation, so our “hobby” turned into a bunch of HGTV viewed in a zombie-like state. Hope you have an easier first time than we did, but either way, give yourself some grace and take time to rest whenever you possibly can! Congrats and good luck.
Went and had lunch with some coworkers in anticipation of my return from maternity leave... which my boss proceeded to refer to as my “vacation”. 🙄🙄🙄
I watched all of The Good Wife because my baby would only sleep if he was held.
I watched every single Dodgers game for the same reason