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Hi fishes!
I've been trying to break into DS/analytics roles for so many months now, from a non-tech job. I have undergrad projects and internships alone to show my ds skills.
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Working at - byjus
Any tips or help would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!! Tata Consultancy Tata consultancy sevices EXL Accenture Fractal ZS Associates Amazon Netflix
Hey Fishes, I have resigned from EPAM systems and got an offer from Nokia with an increase of around 25%, Now EPAM is trying to get me back as they and the Client thinks that I’m one of their valuable asset. EPAM is ready to Match the offer but still….. confusing mind for retention and all. Please help me with thoughts !EPAM Systems
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These stories break my heart for all of you. I’m so sorry. The pain must be overwhelming. I wish I could hug you all.
Hi, divorce lawyer here🙋🏻♀️
You want to file for child support first and ask for an add on of at least 50% for child care. Make sure the order has retroactive to the day of filing. Hire a nanny and make sure the ex pays. Good luck sis!!
Rising Star
Yup. My husband left when I was pregnant and I have no local family. I have a nanny and an understanding boss. It’s the only way I survive.
I’m not going to lie to you, it’s been very hard.
You are so strong and it sucks that you were forced to be this strong.
This is so hard. I hope you find all the support you need. I am middivorce with a now 4 year old (she had just turned 3 when we separated). It’s really hard but it IS doable, so long as you can afford to outsource a lot. Is the intention for you to split physical custody? Getting a nanny would be helpful but, depending on your baby’s age, daycare could be helpful and you could look for just a weekend nanny. I also outsourced both house keeping / cleaning and cooking, by hiring two other people to help me out at home. A nanny typically won’t do much of either of those but you can maybe get someone who agrees to cook.
Hi, did this 11 years ago with a one year old. You will eventually be fine, one day at a time! Try to find a place/person through referrals that will allow you to work with peace of mind. Mama needs a paycheck. I had a person that did in home daycare and it was amazing, insured and cheaper than traditional daycare. I am now married, happy and love everything about life. Don’t look back and don’t be intimidated. Get a good lawyer and don’t be emotional. You will make it!!!
I second this. I did this with a three year old. In some ways, it was actually easier bc there was time expressly designated to my ex- husband which kind of forced him to be more helpful in a way. Beyond that, we shared a wonderful nanny until the kid was 7/8. Then downgraded to after school babysitters and transportation. Custody had to be very flexible since we both worked challenging jobs. Custody agreement said 50-50 which was what was required to keep the peace. Reality was probably more like 70-30 but we’ve had a good relationship so no one kept score. Kid is 20 now and did just fine throughout.
I know someone raising a baby on her own and she found a nanny. I think that’s the way to go if you can find a good one.
Any chance to reconcile your marriage?
This response was clearly posted by someone who is not divorced.
Thanks for the replies. My baby is 6 months old
I would probably suggest looking into daycare options first because they tend to have great hours and sometimes they are cheaper than a nanny. However, depending on your situation, a live-in or even an au pair could be a great option for you. That might actually be more cost effective for you since you need a lot of support (as does everyone on this chain, I’m sure!).
I got divorced when my kids were toddlers/young kids. I had a mother’s helper to help me a few nights a week - she cooked, helped with laundry and general kid clean-up (toys, etc). It helped that we moved into a shared custody situation. It is not an easy road, but you will get through it, and your child will be better off for it. Sending hugs.
Just a huge hug and lots of support to all of you, ladies. This — divorce, marriage, kids, working, CHILDCARE — is so much harder than it should be.
It’s so nice to see all of the support and perspectives showing up here. Please keep climbing the ladder so you can throw the ladder (and even more support) to those behind you. We WILL adjust the world, persuade or force it to adapt to us (kick-butt momma attorneys) so that it is better for our daughters and sons!
I had a baby solo after a breakup and for me, hiring an au pair was critical to my ability to manage. It’s not for everyone, but worked great for us.
Not divorced but I had a baby on my own. I have a great daycare that she goes to until 5:30 on weekdays. I can’t do substantive work until after bedtime after that. If I need to work on weekends, I do it during naps or after bedtime. When that won’t be enough, I have to make advanced arrangements. For me, that’s usually family. If you have a close friend who can help, that could be your as needed person. Or you’ll need to find someone who can be available with some planning to watch your kid for a long period over the weekend or on trips. Is your ex in the picture and willing to be reasonably available during circumstances like that?
Also, depending on what your work situation is, you may have a backup childcare benefit that you can use for those random weekends or sick days.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. 🩷
https://hoperestored.focusonthefamily.com
Au pairs are a really great option as well and and truly has become like family and at least where I live, significantly less expensive than a full time nanny. Sorry you’re going through this❤️
My kids were a little older, but figure out the realistic co-parenting solution and invest in a nanny/au pair. Having help makes it easier to do your job, and even if you aren’t saving much you need the mental space to just move forward. I always did my own child care and let sleep slide which is a massive mistake.
If you have money for a nanny, that's the way to go. They're more flexible than daycare and can help with sick kids.
If there is also a mom group you can plug into, the older they get especially, it's helpful for car pooling or emergency pickups/babysitting if you can't make it back immediately.