I know it's going to be different for everyone, but at one point after your first child did you go back to work? Thinking of kids, and trying to wrap my head around what's normal, and what to expect with budgeting post delivery. Wife says 6 months after regardless of parental leave to recover. Then she wants to ease into it with part time work. Thoughts?

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Normal is highly dependent. Some people go back to work 2 weeks after because they absolutely can’t afford to do anything else.

Personally I would say do whatever you can afford to do. If you can afford to be a single income household, then you’re effectively “buying” additional time. Which is very precious.

Btw there is a we’re pregnant bowl and you may get more answers there.

https://joinfishbowl.com/bowl_krtf27xfsw

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12 months is standard in Canada. But now you can opt for 18 and spread your benefits across 18 instead of 12 if you want. Govt Benefits are low (same as unemployment, capping around 2k/mo) but lots of companies will offer top ups.

Less than 12 months is very odd here. But I’ve known some to come back as soon as 4-6 months if it’s a second or third child and they just aren’t baby people.

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Going back to work and having someone else raise your child is never “normal“. you can make lots of plans but once the child arrives everything changes, budget wise you should plan to live on one income in case it’s just too emotionally and mentally complicated to continue having her work part or full-time.

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Tried going back after 12 weeks with #1. Nope, it was terrible. Ended up taking a leave for 12 months total. With #2, went back to work after 12 wks. Worked several months then quit and stayed home with them for about two years. Went back to work full time when they were nearly 3 & 5 and never looked back (they are now 18 & 20).

Two things: (1) I found that I really needed to work outside the home and am a much happier person doing so. (2) Being home with them was really important to me when they were little as nobody knew them like I (or my husband) did and I knew I'd never get that precious time back. No regrets!!

Do what feels right for you!!

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Yeah, 12 months common in Canada. Seen one or two come back after 6-8 months because love working etc.

Highly varies. I had 12 weeks for both kids. Not nearly enough time but couldn’t afford to take more unpaid time. My sister was back at 5 weeks after a C-section because she had no paid leave and no money coming in.

With my first I went back after 6 weeks because I had no paid leave and couldn’t afford to stay out longer.

My second and third were both 12 weeks paid by my company. But family was our childcare after that so I was more comfortable leaving them than if they had gone to daycare.

Six months is a good target if you can afford it financially.

For many, childcare costs match or even exceed what one of the spouses makes. In those cases I’ve seen people take a sabbatical until the kids start school. This obviously has downsides from a career progression standpoint.

But things in corporate America are getting a bit better (especially for women who go the sabbatical route), with back to work initiatives, women’s support networks etc. Don’t know how long that focus will continue though.

Since a few have offered what standard leave is in Canada, I have a question: how much parental leave do men (or non pregnant spouse) get in Canada?

The 12 or 18 months can be split between the parents. But one parent cannot take more than 34/40 weeks (12 month) or 61/69 weeks (18 month).

My wife feels the same way too. Both my parents and in-laws offered to help full time but she wanted none of that.

However, we now have our kids in a Montessori day care. Kinda pricey but my wife and mom both love it. So a bit of a personal sacrifice (with the expense) but it’s allowed my wife to to back to work full time and not feel guilty about it.

I went back after 6 weeks, my boss took 9 month off. Do what works for you.

I planned on my firm-covered 12 weeks, but extended to 15 weeks when baby came early. Partly because the first few weeks were in the NICU rather than home, and partly so I could avoid returning before a busy season deadline. Baby was home another 4 weeks during my husband's parental leave and then started at a small daycare center. Honestly I was ready to go back to work at the end of my leave. I love my child dearly, but I learned I cannot be a stay-at-home mom. I need adult interaction and something to think about each day besides baby/mom stuff. I do have a reduced work schedule allowing more time to spend at home with my family.

My baby turns 4 months old this week, and I go back tomorrow. I would loved to have more time off but this is what I was able to get with my current company, with some partial pay at the end. I am feeling somewhat okay with it right now, any earlier would have felt tough for me I think.

Keep in mind that leave has increased drastically in the last 10 years. My kids are 12 and 8 and my wife had 12 weeks for each. I had a few days of vacation (no formal paternal leave).

We both work full time and have two kids with great health.

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