Hi ladies! I was having a 1-1 with my boss in our office cafeteria, conversation got quite emotional for me and I cried. It was a public space and only afterwards realized people might have seen me cry. Thoughts on this? Worried it could decrease my credibility / brand but on the other hand it’s not anyone else’s business

Hold your head up high. Don’t worry about how/what others think. Don’t fuel any fire. Pretend nothing happened and it’s no big deal. Because, guess what? It’s no big deal unless you make it so.

It's completely natural to feel emotional during a conversation with your boss, especially if it's a sensitive topic or something that's been weighing on you. Crying is a normal human response to strong emotions, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's also important to remember that everyone has moments like this, and people are generally understanding and empathetic.

While it's possible that other people in the cafeteria may have noticed you crying, it's also possible that they were focused on their own conversations and didn't even notice. Either way, it's not necessarily something that will impact your credibility or brand, especially if it's a one-time occurrence.

If you're feeling uncomfortable about the situation, you could consider talking to your boss about it and expressing your concerns. However, it's also important to remember that crying is a normal and healthy expression of emotion, and you shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed about it.

I hope everything’s ok. I don’t think this will decrease your credibility, at least not with the type of people you want in your network anyway. People may be curious about what’s wrong, but they’ll move on quickly - most people are mainly thinking about themselves.

Put it behind you and move forward. You can’t change what happened.

In the future, do not have 1:1s or any contentious/emotional discussion in a public setting, if you can avoid it. Tbh the weirdest thing to me about this entire situation isn’t that you got emotional but that your manager held a 1:1 with you in the cafeteria.

I would assume anyone who noticed (if anyone even noticed) would respond with empathy. Tough sad things happen and it’s human to cry. I think it’s lovely that you were able to have that safe moment with your boss.

I remember when I was super young I had a meeting with my skip level boss in the buildings lobby. I welled up and cried talking about all the pressure I was under. His response was, open palms towards me “wow, you really care. I can see you care so much”. Maybe 20 years on, I am so grateful that I had a boss who taught me the humanity of business.

You can be an exec and simultaneously have human emotions.

I feel this. I got a new manager last year when I was having a lot of trouble with my thyroid and other hormones being unbalanced and I cried in a meeting with my boss (in private). It had nothing to do with work, we weren’t even talking about work, but I lost control. Now whenever he walks into my office (once a week) he asks if I’m going to cry. I hate it and I can’t take it back, and he really doesn’t understand. I now have the reputation of being the millennial girl that cries at work because of that one fucking time. I’m hoping that he doesn’t spread that around but when it’s just the two of us, he brings it up every time.

Going to be honest. I think you did lose some credibility, especially if you are an exec. Do. Not. Cry. At. Work. About. Work!!! Step away, go home, eat a snickers, etc.

Out of all the bowls I’ve interacted with, the people here are by far the most responsive, warm and supportive! Thank you. I appreciate all of you!

I’m a serial crier. I can’t help it (sad, frustrated, stressed, happy) so I’ve cried in the workplace too many times for my liking LOL. But having said that, the worst that has happened was being checked in on after the fact, which is nice to know people care (even if they are just being slightly nosey). My team knows I’m a crier and we joke about it, but it hasn’t hurt my credibility whatsoever, if anything it humanizes me all the more.

Only thing that matters is how your boss responded. Were they supportive?

I cried in front of a boss once when we were in a common space, due to pressure I was feeling. It turned out to be really helpful, because they realized the extent that I wasn’t getting the support I needed. Expressing your emotions is fine and natural, and can lead to more honest conversations. Don’t worry about anyone else!

my experience hasn’t been favorable with crying and being emotional while at work but honestly, eff ‘em. Like pardon my French, sorry if I offend someone.
I left that job and those people where they stood for a better job with better benefits and better pay.
If you can’t be at least *somewhat* emotional, screw the workplace. I’m human not a robot.

Is your boss a man?
I’m seeing so many male professionals claim it’s a “risk” to be alone with a female. They don’t want to travel with one, be alone in a car with one, in a room with one, etc. It’s SICKENING, and it’s another way to hold women back.
If your male manager is having a public conversation with you versus in their office or meeting room because he’s sees your womanhood as a credible threat to him, then THAT is a huge problem and needs to be addressed.

It’s 2023. It’s ok to cry in public.

I have cried at work many times. In offices with a glass door and what not. So maybe they didn't hear but they would see me. It's ok. No credibility issues. We all have things we go through. If you're still employed there tomorrow people will just think you are going through something/lost a loved one or something. They will think it for a second and move on. I wouldn't worry 👍

We 👏 are 👏 all 👏 humans 👏 INCLUDING 👏 leadership

Probably an unpopular opinion and I am only middle management so it may be different for execs… but honestly, I think we should be able to express emotions openly. Just because you are a manager or an executive doesn’t mean you become a robot. If anything I personally feel it makes you come across as more human and empathetic… I am more trusting of a leader who isn’t afraid to occasionally take off their “professional mask” to show emotion, empathy, and personality than one who is always buttoned up and overly collected.

My elder female mentor once told me: you get one cry a year at work.

My experience hasn’t be favorable with being “emotional” with a manger. I had a really horrible 2020 Covid death of a sibling breast cancer, you name it it happened to me. 3 years of deaths illness and divorce. My boss was very aware and now he calls me emotional like it’s ok to do so. I’m labeled as being emotional and now that’s by brand. All successes in sales, exceeding my goals during those horrible years are loss because they now just see me as emotional. VP is a woman HR is a woman and they too have jumped on the “she’s emotional bandwagon”. My suggestion is NEVER ever let them see you emotional.

I cry out of frustration. With myself mostly, but occasionally I just need to take a walk and remove myself so I can remember that this isn’t my life. I think my reps like knowing I give a shit about them.

Hi. Don't apologize for being human. We are supposed to have feelings! Those that might have witnessed hopefully didn't hear the conversation, because you can play it off as something personal. Overall, crying does have a negative connotation at work. Brush it off, and continue to be the professional you are. Just try to not make it a recurring event.

Also I think I have cried at some point in every job I've ever had. It means you take it seriously and you care.

Personally I don't see crying as a weakness. We are all human. People cry when they are csad, mad, happy, overwhelmed, stressed, cutting onions, lights are too bright, etc.

Unless it gets out exactly what you were talking about then no one will know why. If it does get out then you know your boss is telling other people.