Hi, struggling here. Boyfriend’s sister got pregnant at 20 and she has decided to get an abortion. Parents and boyfriend are encouraging her and “logically” is seems the right decisions because she and her boyfriend do not have a possible way to care for this baby. Boyfriend is a new christian and family catholic but not practicing. I’m struggling with trying to not be judgmental about the support for abortion. I honestly feel so torn between what the bible says and the situation. Any advice?

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Hi! Happy to DM if that’s easier. My best friend faced the same thing and she and I are both pro-life (which to us means that the baby’s life has inherent value, no matter the circumstance), but she had a ton of pressure to abort. The two best things you can do are 1) PRAY. I saw God completely change the hearts and minds of my friend’s family and he is sovereign over this situation too! And 2) talk to his sister—she has a lot of options outside of abortion and there is likely a pregnancy resource center near y’all that can talk her through what those are (adoption, material resources, counseling, financial aid, etc etc).

Secondarily to that, I think it is vastly important to be on the same page with your boyfriend about this stuff, because at some point he may be the one making decisions with you about how to affirm life (types of birth control you use or don’t, what happens if a baby has health issues, what happens if you have health issues while pregnant, etc). Everyone is in a different place in their spiritual walk with the Lord and we all have a lot to learn, but I would lovingly talk about this to him because God is not unclear about the value of his image-bearers.

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First, I would pray about it. As for wisdom and understanding. Then I would talk to your pastor or mentor from your church about it. I don't think this medium will be as helpful since we don't know you.

Lastly, you can share resources of a pregnancy center in your area that helps assist young expecting mom specifically.

At the end of the day it's not your decision but I think you can share your thoughts if they ask for it.

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Just like others have mentioned, PRAY!
Also look for a believer, join hands and agree in prayers about it. God can change any situation.

Remember: Matthew 18:19 - Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.

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Along with what everyone here has said, I think a lot of LiveAction’s content is really helpful

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Something I haven’t seen in a reply yet - after prayer and talking to her, if she decides to go through with the abortion, please do not shame her! God may use you or others during that time in her life to speak truth and encouragement during one of the darkest times in her life. Remember that exuding His love and acceptance is as important as following His Word.

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Pregnancy centers > abortion clinics. Many pregnancy centers provide loads of resources & alternative options. They will even support financially and provide diapers, clothes etc.

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Talk to your boyfriend first. You say he’s a Christian and I think part of your struggle is that he’s not practicing his faith right now. And maybe that impacts how you view him and your relationship. I think this is a major point that needs to be addressed.

Talk to him calmly about why his sister is making this choice. Is this really what she wants or has she been pressured by her family?

There are lots of other options besides abortion including adoption. She should really be informed about all her options. A pregnancy center is an excellent resource as others above have mentioned.

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✝️

Dear God, thank you for your love and the gift of life. Thank you for the gift of your Son who lovingly took upon the death consequence of our sin so that we may reconcile with you. Thank you for the gift of sending your Holy Spirit to guide, strengthen, admonish, and sharpen us.

Holy Spirit, help both the inquirer and myself, as well as the family of the new child created, amidst this struggle with judgment.

Amen.


Thank you for your willingness to share this struggle, and may this be of some assistance:

Though it is morally wrong to be judgmental towards people (judging others as condemned to eternal damnation for certain bad actions and treating them without love), it is not morally wrong to be judgmental towards actions. It is both morally permissible and good to learn the righteous/wicked quality of an action. Examples: It is good to love God and others. It is good to honor your father and mother. It is bad to lie. It is bad to murder.

Disclaimer: In my life, I have failed to do good and have chosen to do bad. I am guilty of having broken all 10 Commandments. And knowing my failures, wickedness, conversion, repentance and reconciliation helps me to grow in lessening my judgment of others to non-judgmental.

With that said, f urther discernment of the quality of supporting abortion reveals that this action is bad for all us. When we support abortion, we support the breakdown of relationships; we support elevating “me” over “we;” we support the murder of innocent life; we support dismissing the amazingness that comes from selflessness.

God’s judgement of infanticide being wrong is indeed good.

It seems your struggle stems from a perception of abortion being “logically right” for the poor. Is this where your are torn?

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