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Just an FYI Gaetz also “raised” an immigrant child without any actual paperwork and is not a blood relative.
“Geatz did not formally adopt Nestor (and he declines to discuss Nestor’s relationship with his biological family now). He re-frames the matter, saying, “Our relationship as a family is defined by our love for each other, not by any paperwork.”
https://people.com/politics/matt-gaetz-tells-story-boy-he-raised-as-a-son/
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Hi, I've recently got selected to IBM GBS, and my husband working for PSU I am from Andhrapradesh and IBM location is Chennai. I've 1year baby. Due to this I can't relocate to Chennai. Is there anyway to handle this like working remotely from my home ? Will IBM allows me to do like that. ? IBM Infosys Tata Consultancy Accenture Amazon
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I feel pretty good at 5 years pp, if that’s any help at all
There’s a reason why parental leave is 18 months to 3 years in so many parts of the world. What the United States asks mothers to do is against biology and reason.
Feel this so much 8 months postpartum. No helpful advice but you’re not alone.
14 months postpartum here. It’s still very hard for me, especially because my baby didn’t start sleeping through the night until she was 13 months old. My best piece of advice is to try to establish boundaries to the best extent possible. For me, that means everyone knows I have to log off at 5:30 to pick up my daughter from daycare, and then am basically unavailable until 8:30 when I log back on after she’s down for the night. I am flexible for true emergencies or one offs like when a deposition goes late (had one go til 8pm two weeks ago), but I have tried to remain firm otherwise. It does make it harder as I was routinely at the office until 6:30/7 pre-baby, but people seemed to adjust okay. I also sometimes schedule a Saturday to come in and get work done uninterrupted. It admittedly sucks but does help me feel less out of control.
Not sure if counsel (versus associates) get reviews, but beware how these “boundaries” will sneak up on you and impact “performance” reviews.
I found a few things helpful (I have a 3 year old and 15 month old):
-after reading, leave emails and texts “unread” if I need to circle back later
-I write everything in my reminders on my phone and review a few times (or at least once) a day
Your brain works; it has just made room for so many other important things. What I learned to accept myself (type A perfectionist) post baby was that my B/C work is still better than most people’s A work. The most challenging person to accept my shortcomings at work postpartum was me.
You have years of training, and at least for me - work is so much easier than being a mom (which in my opinion is the hardest job ever even though I love it). You will learn to juggle it all, though it may look different than you envisioned or hoped for. Please be gentle with yourself, and work with a calendar/reminder system that helps support all of the thoughts floating around in your brain.
You are awesome at being a lawyer and being a mom and you can do this!
Yah, I am a year postpartum and still struggle :(
My daughter is 16 months now, but I felt exactly the same. You hope people will be understanding, but don’t count on it. I was on my own really and then 8 months later, at my EOY review, I was told my technical skills are behind my class year (my mat leave was 6 months)… try your best and it’ll come back to you!
Chief
Maybe… as someone who has been part time for 8/11 years of practice I feel totally behind my “class year.” There are thousands of hours of legal issues I’ve just never encountered but people assume I have. I do feel like law is one of those areas where you need to log the time to get the expertise.
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I’m 7 months postpartum and went back to work a month ago at the beginning of January — feeling largely the same way.
I will say 4-5 months was the hardest for me sleep-wise, and getting past that 4 month sleep regression was huge in terms of feeling a little more human again.
With a month of work under my belt now, things are slowly starting to get better on that front too. I feel a tiny bit less foggy and a little more competent, but I still don’t feel sharp like I used to and I don’t know if I could do anything really intense yet. I am so grateful there are people on my team at work I can lean on, but I feel guilty for leaning on them so hard. And I am still very much figuring out the right rhythms. Like a poster above, I carve out 5pm-8pm for time with my baby, and that helps. But it’s a work in progress for sure.
Just sending support to everyone. This is hard. *hugs* (if that's your thing)
Just following to see if there are tips that would help my associate.
We have two partners that have time carved out of their schedule to support associates with training. They also help/review assignments and answer questions
Be gentle with yourself. Your entire body and brain went through a huge change. It took me until I was around 18 months PP to feel “normal.” You’re sleep-deprived and full of hormones. Try to really focus on doing one thing at a time and keeping a super organized to-do list with deadlines. I was so used to multitasking pre-pregnancy and after I really had to slow down and force myself to finish one thing at a time.