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Even though baby is sleeping, they are on an eat, diaper, sleep routine that is every 3 hrs or so for awhile. That’s basically all you do. I had no time and all I did was feed our baby. My husband did diaper changes, made me nourishing food, and kept the house in a decent state. We had never been busier! I honestly don’t think we felt like we had time until about five months. We had a great baby who slept well and wasn’t too fussy too.
Rising Star
I’m 3 weeks postpartum, here’s our current situation. Like Deloitte said, depends a lot on the baby! They might or might not sleep/nap in their bassinet/crib, if they don’t (ours doesn’t) one of you will be holding baby at all times. If they do sleep away from you then you’ll have a little more free time.
So I’ve basically been on the couch snuggling/feeding baby all day and just resting/healing—this part is more critical if you have a c-section. My fiancé does EVERYTHING else—cleaning, cooking, running errands, getting me water and snacks, diapers, etc. He does hold the baby too of course so I can shower and pee and such and take breaks. Neither of us have felt comfortable leaving the house for walks yet but will probably start that next week. And we definitely won’t be doing anything with friends for another few weeks.
So yes, there is a lot of free time but not in the sense that you can go do stuff.
Rising Star
Also, I’ve heard a lot of dads say “the baby’s just gonna be sleeping a lot” but don’t underestimate how much you’ll enjoy just staring at your baby while they sleep lol
Feeding, putting the baby to sleep, changing diapers, baby also wakes up at night 2-3 times for feeding and putting back to sleep (the whole process might take 1 hour or so you have 1-2 hours of sleep here and there).
Yes they sleep a lot but not on adult schedule, plus new moms experience baby blue, needs time to heal the body while navigating breastfeeding (huge issue for me). All these plus sleep deprivation make you zombies. The hormone changes for you might also make you worry all the time and can never really rest.
Cumulatively it’s a lot of time but since the time you have is so fragmented, sometimes you never really feel you have time for yourself at all. We have angel babies in general but I’m still very tired lol.
Honestly cooking healthy/satiating meals for myself/family + helping baby fall asleep, all while exhausted myself, were the hardest parts for me. I had no problems with breastfeeding, so that could be another challenge or time suck, especially if making and cleaning bottles becomes part of the routine. It got a tad bit easier each time baby dropped a nap because days/naps became more consistent and predictable.
Every baby is different, there’s no way to know what it will be like until you’re in it. I had a terrible pregnancy (vomited every single day every trimester) and very traumatic birth but the newborn phase so was easy compared to everything else, I absolutely loved it and would do it all over again. My baby (16 weeks now) has the best temperament and we take her everywhere - out to the wine bar with us, dinner dates, even traveled internationally a few times. I consistently got 8 hours or more of (broken) sleep even while exclusively breastfeeding (which was also really easy). In the last trimester of pregnancy I was waking up every 60-90 minutes and only getting 3-4 hours of sleep total a day because I was in so much discomfort, so the newborn phase was dreamy and I felt like I got my bodily autonomy back again. Definitely wasn’t expecting it to be as wonderful as it was.
Husband did all the housework and waited on me, also changed baby during night awakenings so I could stay in bed, feed her, and go back to sleep.
I found newborn phase to be very exhausting (but also rewarding) personally, but like others have said above, each baby can be so different! Partners can help with cooking, cleaning, laundry, picking up food, errands when you can’t leave the house, changing diapers, and giving you a break when you need a nap or a little bit of “me” time. I also pumped so that my husband could do some of the night feedings and that helped me feel so much better rested during the day. There are definitely quiet moments while baby sleeps but I often found I was catching up on household or personal tasks or just really need a nap myself when we had those quiet times.
Personally, I did not find that I had free time (when baby slept, I tried to sleep because I was so sleep deprived!). I only did baby things, my husband did everything else in the house plus helping with baby. We were both exhausted. I only discovered "free time" from the baby sleeping when the baby was a couple months old and we got him on a schedule AND naps meant sleeping in his own crib. In the beginning, there were a lot of naps in your arms, etc because that was the only way the baby would sleep.
Depends on the baby. You could have a “dream “ baby or have a difficult one. We had both
We are lucky to have a “dream” baby, and I don’t feel like I have a lot of free time. As others mentioned, you’re living a 3 hour cycle. And so if maybe naps 1-2 hours in a crib, you’re likely filling that time with things like eating, sleeping, pumping, cleaning bottles or pump parts, laundry, household stuff, hospital bills, petcare if you have one, etc. my husband didn’t get family leave so I have to do all. That said, for my mental health, I strive for one outing a day, and try to anticipate being out for >3 hours, and bring my pump, bottles etc. really helps just need to be planful
Also, anticipate that things may not go as you plan and be open /flexible. While it’s unlikely to happen to you, I had so many issues with BF. I planned to BF, but sadly was an under supplier with severe nipple damage day1-16. Also battled constant engorgement and clogged ducts…and now testing for/ eliminating various allergens in my breast milk for baby. Triple fed for 6 weeks. Saw multiple specialists, who were helpful, bur unable to get me on a sustainable BF track. It was hard to accept but once I did, I was able to make peace.