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Anyone in FAANG cyber willing to refer?
I joined Infosys 5 days back. I want to leave because the project allocated to me is not matching to my skill set. When i asked same thing to my hr , they informed me that I will be getting kr for that. What should I do now?
Will abscond a good idea or something else. Please help. Infosys
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Being a parent requires thick skin. Kids say and do stuff that feels really hurtful but mostly it’s them unable to regulate and process in a healthy way.
I’m really surprised you’ve been able to get him to clean up on his own up to this point. We have to sit beside ours and clean with them or they won’t do it.
It sounds like you’re doing well and this is just a hiccup. I think this is normal and it’s probably just a matter of trying to help him identify and regulate his emotions in a healthier way. “I can see you’re really upset. What has caused you to feel that way? How can I help you feel better?”
Are shocked because we never speak like this in our family. Respect and care is foundation value of our family. What are we doing wrong? I am really not able to understand what went wrong. Is this even normal? Nothing has changed otherwise in our lives. Same routine except we just moved home (like 10 mins away) but no change in daycare, sitter or even the house manager. I just don't know what we are doing! And how not to react to something like this
If this were me, I’d want to hear more.
It’s okay for kids to say they hate their parents, to me. It’s just words, but they are strong words. Nevertheless , I’d want more info from him. I used the Jim Fay broken record approach, I’m sorry you hate me, but you know I love you. Then would come, no you don’t love me. To which I’d say, you can’t tell me how I feel only how you feel. If he repeats he hates us or me, I say the same thing. Rinse and Repeat. This approach to me…and I tried many ways takes the shock value out of the word ‘hate’.
I’d also ask him where he’d live if he wasn’t born into our family? Wait for response.
Me: Well that sure is sad don’t you think? See what he says.
There’s obviously something on his little mind. Unless this statement about not being in the family is repetitive, I’d explore more. That’s not a boundary that has to shut down conversation . We as parents have to learn to manage our kids affect too in a kind and acceptable way, and take their concerns as seriously as they do.
This might be a good time to expand his feeling vocabulary, if he needs it. Mad sad frustrated and glad are the core four. Make sure he can accurately identify and use. The more skilled a child/adult is at identify their feelings and labeling their own feelings, the less likely they are to act on those feelings. That’s research driven too
Drawing is a therapeutic outlet for kids. Don’t assume you know what they drew, ask your son to help you by describing that pic to you. You might be surprised. Draw w him, focus on your own drawing as to not have the spotlight on him. Doodle with him or draw your own picture.
Kids are funny. They want the same seriousness when we when listen to them, what we say is small problem can be bigger than you think for them. Good luck! You got this. Dm me anytime
Dumb autocorrect: *toddlers
Not tickers 😅
They like to push on boundaries to find them. If he gets mad you get calm. He gets more mad you get more calm. He could decide his own punishment. Like handing you the iPad or taking a time out. It will pass and it’s not you. It’s just a phase.
Totally normal. He was so upset 20 minutes later that he said "hate" to me. They are learning and growing.
I agree with everything everyone is saying. We tend to take what tickers say personally but they are truly still learning and trying to understand their own big emotions. I would also say post more attention to what they consume via television, books, etc. My little one often repeats sentences like this that she saw on a tv show so I have to remind her that we don’t have to repeat the bad things we see on tv especially when we know they’re going to hurt someone’s feelings.
Totally normal, hold your boundaries! And changing homes is a big deal even without a daycare switch etc. so give some grace.
If you are getting the entitled attitude in a bunch of of contexts, a reset always works for us. My 7yo recently had to be reminded that random snacks, screen time, and dessert are privileges not rights and so we did none of any for a day, then pick one the following day after demonstrating good behavior.
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Your son is testing your boundaries. This is literally the way they look for your weaknesses so they can get what they want, when they want it. Don't let his mind game trick you. All kids go through this same stage. My daughter was a little bulldozer when it came to testing my boundaries and my patience. In each situation, I spoke to her like I was reviewing a contract. In the scenario you describe, I would respond in a calm voice: "Until you've made arrangements to move to a new family, this family has rules that apply to everyone who lives here. Your rules for your toys are that you put them away after playing and keep them organized in storage. If you agree to that rule and show me by your actions, you get to keep all of your toys. If not, each time you don't follow that rule, I will choose one of your toys and show it to you. Then I'll take that toy away, and it becomes mine. Every single time you fail to clean your toys, I'll take another toy. I'll continue taking them until there are none left, if that's what you want. The choice is yours. Either agree to cleaning up and keeping all of your toys organized, or find a new family that has no rules, and you'll need to move out. Let me know your decision." Say it all matter-of-factly. No anger. Just like you're talking in a business meeting. Lay out the facts and options to remedy the situation. By letting your son decide his fate, it teaches him that actions have consequences. Kids benefit from learning a lesson more than just being punished. Your son will no longer hate you for making him clean up, he'll know that he was the one who decided that is the best choice. Now, he'll either clean up his toys...or else, and he won't blame or 'hate' you you for it 😊