{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I have 2 boys twins. 10 years old. I find myself constantly annoyed with one of them. And always wanting to spend time with the other. I feel bad about it especially during a vacation or a 4 day weekend. Any tips?", "post_id": "61a440975ac79e0027f0e14f", "reply_count": 3, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "599aea2d2a4d83001641590b", "bowl_name": "Consulting Dads" }

I have 2 boys twins. 10 years old. I find myself constantly annoyed with one of them. And always wanting to spend time with the other. I feel bad about it especially during a vacation or a 4 day weekend. Any tips?

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Don’t have any tips, especially not knowing in what ways your son is annoying, but one thing to consider is that he is probably picking up on your preference for the other son. That could drive a visions circle where he is trying to get your attention and approval by any means necessary and probably annoying you lord in the process…

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Ha yeah i think there is some of that. Well the one son is just super particular like he has a lot of food aversions, refuses to shower or brush his teeth, refuses to drink water or any liquid, refuses to do any type of activity besides playing video games about 50% of the time, gets scared at movies and shows (like age appropriate stuff). All he wants to talk about is Pokémon and Minecraft. I think I need to figure out how to spend more time with him 1:1 and just be prepared to be annoyed. Show him I love him and try to relate to him a bit. Of course the issue is. Whenever I try to spend time with the annoying one the other one gets jealous and becomes annoying himself.

You are scraping the solutions surface with your answer. You have twins who need individual attention most of the time. You are gravitating towards one and the other feels left out so he acts annoying. That’s normal child behavior. It’s very difficult as a parent to balance your attention to each. The things I find working are having some individual dad-son bonding time with each of them separately. Go hiking, for breakfast, to a game parlor or wherever. Try to get to know your sons. I know it’s hard but once you lose their need to be with you, it won’t ever return.

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