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You are valid. I moved from mid to biglaw and only lasted 6 months. It was horrible for my mental health (never had a problem before). Before I quit I knew I was done with law. I’m now in sales at a tech company and love it. So, not the same story or the advice you asked for, but if I could switch careers in a pandemic, so you can you. Boutique is a better option, in house usually requires more years of experience.
I started my career (before i even had bar results) in big law, left a year and a 1/2 in to transfer to boutique, lasted about a year and change and came back to big law for an opportunity that was too good to pass up... fully remote with a significant pay raise... 6 months in and I remember why I left big law in the first place.
That being said, big law, mid size or boutique... there’s toxic work environments everywhere, I’ve seen people leave a massive firm after a month because it wasn’t for them and they are doing great, making great money at a boutique firm. And vice versa. Anything is possible.