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I think someone who genuinely likes you will make it known and won’t leave you hanging. The realisation of “this is too soon” should have come after a couple of dates and not after date 8! My hunch is he either met someone else or just lost interest for whatever reason. Whatever the scenario is, not worth your time! Move on..
During that last message he did go out of his way to point out that I was the only girl he was talking to (even tho I wouldn’t have cared if he was talking to other people as we were not exclusive) but idk maybe he was lying or yeah lost interest
God damn is that guy me? Im sorry you are going thru this but I am that guy in this same moment as well and maybe I can say a few words from my perspective. I got separated last May after 10 years and met this amazing girl on Bumble. She knew everything was fresh so we just enjoyed the amazing sex and conversations. But she started catching feelings but I am just emotionally not ready. She is absolutely amazing, gorgeous, kind and all that, and I feel terribly bad because she thinks she is the problem. My previous relationship left some wounds I need to heal first (at least emotionally), find peace with my own mistakes, learn from them, close the chapter and then move on. Im just not there yet and I think getting emotionally involved with her will increase the risk of her being ever more hurt in the long run, and I cant live with that thought because she is too nice and doesnt deserve this. So as selfish, hard or whatever it might sound, I decided the best would be to take some space to focus on closing(emotionally) the past relationship. You might be asking yourself: why did he sleep with me then? Could nt he heal his wounds first before going on Hinge? In my particular case (and the dynamics of the last months of my previous relationship) I just needed someone to talk to, to meet new people, go out have drinks. The least was to clearly communicate my thoughts and reasons and make her understand what was the matter. I think it made things slightly better knowing she wasnt the problem or not enough for me. Focus on yourself and take care
I really appreciate you sharing this!! I totally agree that you and the guy I was seeing definitely should get closure and enjoy finding yourself and being single without getting into anything serious. I just wish I kept my feelings more at bay, then I wouldn’t have felt this down about it
Been in similar situation, really when a guy is showing/ telling you that. Please focus and prioritize yourself. Life’s too short to be second guessing what you mean to someone.
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Yes, do whatever it takes - cry it out but move on. There is someone out there that wants what you want and can be all in.
Happy he’s being honest. You’ll find someone way much better and who’s genuinely ready to make it work.
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Sorry friend. You are never going to hear from that person again.
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Agree with everything mentioned, but I’ll also mention that it may not be a good idea to hang out as friends, especially if it’s not something he seems very eager about. I just say that because it will just be harder for you OP.
Unlikely that you will see him as a friend and you don’t want to stay emotionally invested if this guy won’t be ready for a long time. It’s hard, but probably better to close that chapter for now.
Happened to me, except that I was the emotionally not available one and we tried to stay friends, but I could see how it was hard on the guy, he just felt continuously rejected :(
Rising Star
As sad and frustrating as this is, you need to let this one go and move on. If he comes back once he's sorted his head out, great, and it may work if you're still single, but you need to move on. Clean break - no friends (with or without benefits!), and protect your own heart and mental health.
invited me to go to a neighboring state with him for a day trip, which I wasn’t able to go. He agreed to come with me and seemed excited about it at first. But when that weekend approached after our 7th date, I asked if he still wanted to go and he said he decided he wasn’t ready for that (which I find understandable). So the next weekend I reached out to make plans to see each other but he cancelled. We seemed to be getting distant from each other (barely texting or seeing each other) so I asked him if he was still interested in me, and overall he said he wants to take a step back and focus on his mental health. He said that he may have started dating too soon (he got out of his last relationship this past July and we started talking mid august). He said he was torn bc he does like me and we have similar interests but he is not ready for anything serious. I was understanding and said that mental health should come first and that if he ever wanted to hang out as friends that I’d be down. he said that he would want to hang out and to be just friends for now.
But now two weeks have gone by and we haven’t spoken at all. I haven’t liked a guy this much in a really long time so I’m hung up on him. I’m not stupid and I know when people say to their internet matches “let’s just be friends”, means you’re not interested in them. I am just confused bc he did say he was interested in me and wanted to still hang out. when I end things with guys I’ve met on hinge, I would make it clear that I am not interested in them, so the fact that he didn’t say that to me is leaving me on his hook. I don’t know if there is still a chance or I am too blind by my feelings for him. I wish I had a more clear answer so I can move on.
Guys like and need the chase.
I literally just went through something similar. How long was it after you guys started seeing each other that this happened? Mine was ~3 month mark when he cancelled a weekend trip because he was losing interest (and also started seeing someone else) and I realized I also had doubts but didn’t want to believe them, and a lot of people say that at 3m is when a lot of situationships end because you realize if you’re genuinely interested in each other and can see something lasting or start losing interest. Guys like to keep you hanging on and won’t give you the respect and honesty to end it outright, so keep your head held high and remove yourself gracefully, and find someone who’s emotionally available and is ready to be your ride or die.
Yeah we were talking for about two months when it all went down. I appreciate your insight and you sharing your experience