I need some advice on how to address this.. my 18yr old nephew came to spend the weekend with me and today I find that my expensive perfume has gone missing from the bathroom.. I called him to ask about it (to which he said; the white bottle sitting on the shelf?) he denied said he hasn’t seen it.
I’m pissed because it was a treat to be able to even spend that kind of money on me, I feel my trust is violated, and I’m not sure what to do beyond “lesson learned”

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Cost aside. You should call him out on taking it IF you’re sure he did. Paraphrasing: “Nobody else was in here. Not cool to take people’s stuff. No big deal, give it back. If you like cologne, I’ll buy you some but this behavior is a$$ and won’t get you anywhere.”

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Ask him if he took it & tell him if he returns itvyou'll buy him a new one for his girlfriend but then he must never ever ever take you for a ride again. Call his parents if he doesn't bring it back.

nephew wears perfume
let it go

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And he’ll steal or break something bigger next time.

I’d treat him like an adult, be calm, and just ask him to be truthful, that it matters to you, and then counsel him to always be truthful. If he continues to deny and you’re 100% SURE it was him, I’d tell the parents and treat your nephew a bit aloof till he is remorseful.

If you’re 50-80% sure (eg, you may have gotten drunk it and broke it and don’t remember), then let it go, and just tease your nephew good-naturedly in front of others that he seems to be too fond of perfume, or he’s too clumsy. He’ll get the message in the next few months and not repeat it. Then stop teasing him once you see him being more responsible with things.

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Talk to him, and then heads up to parents.

Update: I talked to him this morning. I got a denial. Sent a text to his mom about getting on a call (which I doubt she has seen since they are with fam) Got a text back from him that he found it in his backpack (5 hrs later) & mailing it. I’ve been his aunt (ex’s side) since he was a baby and this hurt. This morning it wasn’t about the money or the perfume but about restoring trust + honestly in the relationship we have. I’m happy to that he chose to be accountable (despite the delay) and do the right thing.

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Maybe condensation in the bathroom created slippery conditions and the bottle of perfume fell in his backpack by accident.

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You already called him to ask. At this stage, lesson learned. Take inventory in case other things went missing.

100% sure it was him? At the very least, never have him at your place again and cut contact with him.

He won’t because he doesn’t live in the same state.

Are we walking Baccarat Rouge level expensive? If so, I would probably address it with him again and give him a final chance to come clean and return it. If we’re talking $200 bottle of perfume I’d chalk it up to a lesson learned and not invite him to stay with you again.

I’d be pissed and want it back too. Unless you’re prepared to file a police report though there’s not much you can do besides speaking to your nephew and/or his parents. I would only involve the parents though if you’re prepared to live with the possibility that they may side with their child over you if it becomes a he said/she said situation.

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