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Pour some starch down your spine and stand up straight. She's just another human being, she isn't endowed with super-powers that she could knock you dead by staring at you. You are just as valuable to the organization as she is, despite what she might be telling you and others. She just has a raunchy, gossipy mouth that she's willing to flap to anyone who will listen. You, on the other hand, don't exercise the lesser qualities that we all possess but don't all choose to use. You can verbally spar with her, although you will never out-gossip her. Just remember that NOBODY can MAKE you feel 'less than"; nobody can be "bullied" unless they allow it. Fight back with your well-mannered presence. Next time there's a meeting that you've been left out of, wait until 5 minutes after they've been in the meeting room and then arrive with your notepad and take a seat.
You are absolutely correct. I should have never allowed myself to be put in that situation. I did actually show up at a few meetings like " hello". I just got so tired of defending myself. Looking back I realize I had the power to just leave. Being honest it was the $$. Lesson definitely learned no money is worth your self respect and health! Thanks for keeping it real!
I’ve worked as an admissions director for several nursing facilities over the years and have ptsd from abusive administrators and other management. I was racially discriminated at the last one and had a case opened with the EEOC and they sided with the facility because people were afraid to speak to them during the investigation. I left the industry and make way more money working for a nice sized healthcare insurance company. It’s been almost 2 years since I left and I regret that I didn’t leave sooner.
Often times God puts obstacles in our path to open our eyes to a situation. This was probably what happened to you. You would have stuck it out way too long. But you moved on because it was time and look where you are now. Bravo to you!
When I use to work at a certain hospital in NYC, I been thru something Like this except she was a co-worker and she lied about everything she claimed I did and while I did have info, witnesses, and paperwork to prove my statement to be true. they went with her false accusations because she was a woman and they proved favortism based on gender. So after That happen I just quit and nearly called lawyers against the hospital and the person who lied but in end it wasn’t worth it and karma is fickle. But I hope you get justice for these false allegation!
happened to me too, no matter what I did I wasn't supported by upper management they constantly did things that undermined my authority and position.
one such circumstance when when my officed was movied into a new shared space, and another office run by a toixic manager also movied in. Their practice imploded and their staff were disrupptive and equally toxic. I had marked them an ineligible for hire to my deptartment as they had disrupted my girls and my office work flow.
only to find out my regional manager had decided to interview them for a position in my office without discussing my experience with them.
Then another time we had a quailty control team come in and show me how to pull up patient lists for those who have not had their medicare anual wellness visit, I uncovered 31 patients who no longer were under the provider's care, switched providers, or who expired. upper management then kept asking where I got those names and kept pushing me on the subject as if i created 31 random patients.
Another time I got into a disagreement with the provider and told to appologize i refused, and they told me they couldnt trust me.
The final straw is when I hired a new staff member, and they would not enter my office for an entire month due to training. They cited I was negligent for not noting their hours in training. And asked them to explain how I would know the hours the new staff member went to training were legitimate as the only person I could ask was the new hire, and could not verify if those times were valid.
I got a phone call in my finals days and a zoom call and told that they needed to document things for HR and nailed me to the cross with 3 infractions that they needed to terminate me.
I'm going to tell you. You've got nothing. They have documented and have cohort witnesses. I know. Happened to me.
Worse part is it was my manager and as Admin I befriended her. Helped her. And a new hire friend of hers. They were both my friends. Lunches and planning special events. Setting up new systems for projects.
Then when they had enough stuff. They fired me and new hire got my job. And I still thought they were friends as the blamed the next mgmt up. But I got totally ghosted and that was that.
So my advice. Drop it soon as you can let it go. Move on be happy despite them. Then it's a win for you.
Bullying in the workplace is at an all-time high. Toxic people are everywhere !! I’m so sorry you had to experience this. An attorney cannot help you unless it was racially motivated or sn attack on your sexual orientation, etc.. I have experiences myself , this year. Lawyers couldn’t help me either. If someone decides they don’t like you they can push you out with zero repercussions. I pray you find a better job
If you’re Caucasian we aren’t allowed to be victims of racism apparently. Dealing with the same at a job.
It's very hard to Disprove age discrimination. 😉
I was terminated a month ago. I asked about incorrect pto. My supervisor called me in to discuss it, but what she was saying made 0 sense. She was basically saying I was being penalized for rolling it over. 40 hours is allowed and then earn 80 per year. Anyway what she was saying was wrong and I questioned it. I teared up, which I hate to do but it just happens. She told me not to cry, go take a break and we'd discuss later with the operations manager. Which the OM I might add, started as phone nurse, no healthcare experience and suddenly in leaa than a year is the OM. Anyway i worked all day. Was called in and fired because apparently in the earlier meeting i was violent and scared my boss. What? But she let me stay all day? Now having to appeal unemployment benefits. She and the OM concocted this story because i was not stupid and asked questions. They wanted sheep.
File with the EEOC
Believe me. NOBODY CARES.
I went through a similar. Went to work at hh agency that made lots of promises and claimed to operate one way but was far from what they, said. They claimed they terminated me for certain documents not being uploaded in a portal. But they removed my from that position and assigned another person. They literally said you do her job and you do hers. So I did. They failed to tell me I was suppose to do her job and mine too and I was repramended for every mistake she made. And to date as I can still see the portal. No more documents have been uploaded and is now 3 months behind vs the 2 weeks when they let me go. Yes I was trying to do her job and mine because I knew I would get in trouble for it. Thank God my old employer was willing to let me return but the cut in pay has drvistated me financislly
Things like this happens no matter the race of both parties. Most organizations will side with the so called people leader. I have come to the conclusion that when leaders lack the knowledge to do the work of their staff this behavior is what you see. The best recommendations I can give is now that you no longer work there work on your mental health until the next opportunity appears. Look for organizations that don't tolerate this type of behavior. For all future employment opportunities protect your mental health don't give it away to someone that doesn't deserve it.
When I was doing social work in a skilled nursing, I was bullied by two different managers not recognized for the promotion when I had been doing the work for months. This bullying went on for several years... luckily there were other really good people who supported me . The residence and their families were also very wonderful and supportive of me so this got me through tough times. The admissions person was a bully would say one thing to your face and another thing behind your back.
HR was worthless And chatted with other employees about my performance review, which was always stellar until the last one with an incompetent administrator. 
I have moved on and make double what I used to , working part time so I'm super happy but I hate to say it, that This is fairly common in healthcare and particularly skilled nursing. I suggest you bide your time & look for a better position and move on there will always be ... bullies in the workforce. Hopefully if you are bullied, you can document it but just know that HR works for the company and particularly want to back their managers, your best chance is if you have witnesses that hear what happens and can testify on your behalf.
 Wishing all of you the best in finding a supportive working environment and coworkers/managers
Professional Care Manager