I'm very reserved and when small talk comes up within a group (3-5ppl), I just sit there like a fly on the wall. I don't excuse myself from the zoom call cos I find THAT rude, but if I'm just sitting there and not contributing isn't THAT rude too?
I'm just here to work, talk through how we get things done, GET it done, & clock out. Can we focus pls?
Also, Idrk how to small talk... I've always been the 'therapist' role. Idk how to adult here & others think im uncollaborative / uncommunicative
I am exactly like this. I just smile and wait till it’s over. I don’t think it’s rude
Enthusiast
Is this something u want to improve at, or do you have no interest and just want to get out of it? Personally I think small talk is important - people want to work with people they like on a personal level and are much more forgiving of mistakes if you’re friends. But if u want to get out of it, I would say just leave. I don’t think sitting there not contributing is any better than saying “sorry I’ve got something urgent due, speak later”
Enthusiast
Not womansplaing at all! I guess the point I was just trying to make is it doesn’t necessarily come naturally to everyone. But people can change to be who they want to be, slowly and surely. Just a matter of practice! I used to have this issue when people spoke to me I would open my mouth and no sound would come out 😂 and I definitely put my foot in my mouth many times. But I’ve found people accepting even when I’ve said really dumb nonsensical things and it gets better with time. I also worked with a speech coach which help me with projection and pace. Wishing you all the best whichever approach you decide is right for you.
Rising Star
Are you me???
Rising Star
I don't give them a warning because I feel like it would be looked down upon or they won't trust me with handling a conversation with the client.
What I do is use short "filler" words to convey the idea that I am contributing to the conversation. For example I would chime in here and there by saying: wow that's cool, interestinggg, that's funny!, *fake subtle laugh*, that's exciting, *nod head up and down*, oooh, *mhmm sound*, etc.
Sometimes I sprinkle a one liner questions that would dig deeper into their story so I don't have to go into a monologue about me, sometimes this backfires because I get into therapist mode and they start talking about their life story and the meeting starts running over lol
This is me too. My old manager used to tell me that I should speak up more, but if I have nothing productive to add then what’s the point?
You’re not being rude, most people just want to talk about themselves anyway