In a breakup followed by no contact, do most people feel the dumper should be the first to reach out? I've seen a lot of dumpees say they wouldn't reach out first no matter what.

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As a dumpee, yes. Otherwise you lose your self-respect and don’t respect the other persons wishes, given they ended it.

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I definitely reached out 3-4x within the first month of NC as the dumpee. And regret it. I told myself I wouldn’t but did it anyway. I got the closure I needed though and as much as I want to reach out again after being told there’s no love left, I hope and pray I keep myself in check and don’t. In retrospect, I wish I didn’t reach out and got the closure before NC. It’s been about 2 months now since the breakup and I think the last time I reached out was the last time we’ll talk bc as much as I want her to reach out. I know she’s done and it’s done and I need to drive on.

TL; DR: don’t do it and let them do it. And if they don’t (don’t even hold onto hope that they will) it’s ok. Focus on healing. NC is about you, not them.

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Why would either party reach out? It’s over, move on.

smarthelpful

I’m the dumper.

Dumpee has reached out 90% of the time. She said it was weird the one time I called just to say hey (which she does all the time) and got kind of nasty about it.

No contact is needed for a reason.

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