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You have so many reasons to be hopeful. You now have have some understanding as to why you weren't getting pregnant on your own. You have a path forward. Science is amazing.
Don't get me wrong - the process is physically and emotionally exhausting, but you will realize you are stronger than you ever imagined. You can do this.
Thank you 🙏
20 weeks later - I wanted to share that I just got my positive blood test result from my IVF embaby. Merry Xmas everyone! ❤️
My ivf baby is four (almost 5) and the process seems like a blip on the radar now. In fact she asked the other day if babies are made a the doctors office and we laughed then thought well actually... haha. As a geriatric mom at the time (35 when we started, 36 by time I was pregnant) I was able to participate in a study that significantly lowered my costs. This may be something to research or talk to your fert clinic about. As someone else said there are tons of fb groups which will help you feel supported and normalize the process. The more involved you get in these groups the weirder “natural” conception will seem. Haha. Good luck!
Thank you!!!
It can be so hard. So, so hard. But if it’s your path, it’s your path. Decide how you want to proceed: keep things private or talk to friends and family as you go? Make decisions about how far you are willing to go (medically, into debt, etc) before you start hormones. Talk to your partner about his role (will he give you shots? If so, can he be there to do so consistently- mine traveled a lot). Look for web communities of support-knowing that there are lots of different ones (some are into “baby dust” and all positivity and rainbows, others are more medical - this is sometimes bad as they are not docs and it gets pretty messy- others are just supportive listeners. )
Know that you might feel depressed, angry, and physically off...and be kind to yourself about that. And if you want to quit or stop or not do something- that is totally ok! The doctors will press you to try again and again and ramp things up, but you are enough just as you are and you get to decide where your limit is*.
*my limit was 1 cycle. The doctor was not pleased and tried to send me to a support group to muster the will to continue- protecting his success rates I guess. Lucky for both of us the first one worked. But I was not emotionally able to go for a second. It wrung me out and I’m generally very sturdy emotionally. Ymmv.
Thanks so much for this. Of course now I got offered a potential freelance gig that would be 3-4 months...not a sure thing but anyways I would have to set expectations with them about the potential appointments in order to take it. Hourly pay so it could be okay. No interest credit card is a good idea if needed! Still waiting for clarity from the insurance company, I’m really hoping they cover 1 round. My AMH is .36 and LH 20. ☹️ Gyno and acupuncturist said they will likely want to go straight to IVF. But yeah they need to do the full diagnosis and see what’s going on.
I did two rounds of IVF at age 42 and now have a toddler who I adore (most of the time). As someone else said, science is amazing. And so is your body. Take care of it. Meditate, exercise, eat well. Take time off when you need to. You can’t control everything but being healthy and keeping your stress levels down can help. IVF is so common these days - you’d be surprised. And don’t feel like you have to keep it a secret. If it’ll help you to tell people and have their support, go for it. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and your future baby. You got this!
Thank you for this hope!!
Did one full round of IVF which resulted in 4 embryos. We did two frozen transfers which resulted in my 2.5 year old and now newborn. As another stated, it now just feels like a blip. I was also very open to talk about it, which made me realize how common it actually is when others open up about it too. It is possible! You got this!
Wow congrats on your new baby :)
I have two IVF babies from 3 rounds. My two success stories I only had one viable embryo for each. It can happen!! It’s hard and a process for sure but the memories fade when you are on the other side. Good luck to you 💗
Fellow Strategy Director here and currently 26 weeks pregnant from IVF. It is certainly emotionally and physically draining. I personally found that being selectively open about it really helped. A colleague of mine mentioned her experience to me and introduced me to her support group which was a huge help. Good from an emotional perspective but also just to learn tips/get smart from other women going through the same thing. Now that we’re all virtual - I’d be happy to connect you to it! It’s based in Arlington, MA. DM me if you’re interested. I know a support group can sound intimidating but I found it so helpful.
Congrats on your pregnancy! I may DM you after my next appointment!
I would also check out the Fertility Bowl. I’ve gotten some great support there too https://joinfishbowl.com/bowl_45zs1o
We had a lot of trouble having our first. They said I couldn’t get pregnant without help. Told me IVF would be my best bet. But before going that I had a contrast check of my tubes to make sure they were clear and then we tried incrimination a few days after. And it took. Doc said it’s almost like greasing the skids.
My mom actually had a tube blockage that they cleared and then she was fine. We’ll see what the specialist says in 1.5 weeks, right now I’m just reeling from my ‘bad’ numbers even though I don’t know what they mean exactly - just imagining the worst.
I did 4 rounds of IUI and 2 IVF. Have 2 kids now. It's doable.
Different perspective: I Wasn’t happy I had to do it, but once I stared, it wasn’t difficult for me at all. I had no trouble w the needles or hormones (or being emotionally messed up—Clomid was way worse), and I got pregnant w twins on the first try. Had an easy pregnancy, with a little bed rest, huge babies that were really healthy and so big they were induced at 37 weeks. Both were vaginal delivery with no complications, no NICU, and I recovered great.
So many people struggle with the IVF (and twin) experience. Mine was so different that I want to share a positive experience to show another possible side.
Wishing you health, happiness, and ease, with whatever you pursue.
Also: I didn’t tell anyone except my sister and 1 friend, and the rule was they didn’t get to ask about it. I liked it this way—that way I wasn’t getting asked questions by family, friends, and coworkers and having to talk about things I didn’t want to, or share bad news, or good news I wasn’t ready to share. A support group that has no overlap with your regular life is great in this way. You can avoid being bombarded when you don’t want to and still have people to talk to.
Thank you so much for this. So far I’ve shared with friends but not family. I don’t want to have to manage their emotions on top of mine at this stage. Good to know the hormones don’t have to be horrible!! I’m actually glad to not be working because I can only imagine having to go to so many appointments must be so stressful and deciding whether to share with coworkers. Kudos to every single woman who’s gone through this process!!
You’ve got this. I recommend finding others going through what you’re going through so you have people to talk to who can relate. It is definitely more common than you think. I had unexplained infertility and after trying IUIs, IVF with a few frozen transfers and then an IVF with a new doctor, I became a proud mama to twins at 35. And then went on to miraculously have another one without help. Good luck!
IVF mom here! I remember when it got to the point of starting IVF. It was tough (emotionally) but I at least felt like I was getting somewhere and taking the necessary steps to have a baby. Now that I’m out of the woods and have a 2 year old it feels like a distant memory. Fertility appointments are super early so I actually felt more productive at work cus id be the first in the office.
Some things that helped me were joining a local support group (found it through Resolve), online support (there’s an app and podcast called Beat Infertility that I relied heavily on...podcast is a mix of stories from people going through or gone through infertility and interviews with doctors which are so helpful; app is a support group and I connected with a few people who are still friends). The website FertilityIQ is an AMAZING resource and has thousands of patient reviews of clinics and doctors along with a ton of education. The hilariously infertile Instagram account for some laughs...
One thing I will say is everyone I’ve met along the way have had different stories...some seemed to have terrible odds and got pregnant quickly, others it was the opposite....but everyone got pregnant eventually and had a baby. Science is amazing! You got this!
Thank you!!