My daughter is 6 months old. I can’t believe I can love something this much but was in the camp where I could have been fulfilled without without having kids. The lifestyle change has been a bit of a struggle but not too bad. My wife has been dropping comments such as, “when we have our second…” which has really out me on my heels. At the moment I can’t imagine having a second child. How is it going from 1 kid to 2? Easier than 0 to 1?

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0-1 is an existential change
1-2+ is a logistical challenge

😂

likefunny

Yes, easier to get the second out when the first is 1.5-2. it's fun to see them grow up together. Honestly the first 6months are bland compared to the next 6-9 when they start being more mobile

likehelpful

+whatever number we’re at.

1-2 is not nearly as hard as 0-1. Just don’t wait so long that you move out of this phase. I think it would be hard to get rid of diapers and crappy nights just to go back to it a few years later. You’re already in the zone.

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Totally fair. It’s not for everyone, just my opinion. Just think 10 or 20 years down the road and ask yourself what you want your family to look like. Having kids is hard no matter how many and how spaced they are.

Agree with others - 0 to 1 is tough, 1 to 2 not so bad. Beyond 2 you start getting into zone defense so that changes a lot. Also, a lot depends on the spacing between children. We followed the “only one in diapers” rule of thumb and that has worked out pretty well.

Then there is the wildcard: twins. Our third ended up being 3 and 4 which is a completely different game.

likefunny

Eh, I would bet that your view on the matter will evolve as your kiddo grows up.

By the time you get to the third everything is on autopilot. The second is more like cruise control. Things just come naturally to you, and there is less worrying if you're doing things right or not.

Plus your body is now used to the change, so that is one less thing you have to transition.

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Congratulations! Easier than 0>1, harder than 2>3. We had ours three years apart and if I had my drothers, I would have closed the gaps to be more like 2 - 2.5 years.

helpful

This is great insight, thank you!

The good news is that your lifestyle and sleep habits have already changed to having kids. You don’t have that adjustment period which is really nice. The bad news is that now there’s more to keep track of and multiple people who need your attention. I’ve heard it gets really fun once your kids start outnumbering you, but I think at 2 kids I’m done since I don’t have that partner money yet and I can’t afford a 3 bedroom in Manhattan

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I’ll let Dr Evil handle this

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Thanks for all the input, this is very helpful!

I disagree with most, we had our first and were pregnant 4 months later. We felt like we had things under control with the first kid, and during COVID it didn’t feel like an abrupt change. When the second came out, it was super rough, but has gotten easier now that the older one has gone to daycare

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