My husband and I have been separated for 7months.

I thought he was sober and getting his life back on track.

We met our son's doctor today and I could smell the alcohol coming out of his pores.

I don't want to fight anymore.

I am wary of leaving our son with him. He just turned 3.

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You have to make the best decision for yourself and for your son, even if it’s very hard to do and you love your husband. Alcoholics have to hit rock bottom sometimes to make a change. A divorce and child visitation with supervision and alcohol tests may be the best route here.

Be strong. Prioritize yourself and the child.

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Lawyer.

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I am an alcoholic and have been sober for over a year now. I’m very sorry for the position you find yourself in but please hang on, there is hope. On the one hand, you should take care of your child as an immediate step (alcohol testing and supervised visitation may be the answer there). On the other, I would also encourage you to reach out to someone in AA to help your husband if you care for him. Alcoholism is a disease and AA has been demonstrated to be the most effective method. If there is someone in his family or yours, I would suggest talking to them and taking it from there.

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Thank you, I will try and reach out to someone from AA ... He claims to be attending regularly. We are in a custody battle, I'm not sure how this will end.

Ugh OP I am really sorry to hear that. That does not sound like a fun situation to be in? Does he drink and drive? Obviously that is not hte only concern I woudl have but it is defintiely one of them. I don't blame you for not wanting to leave your son either.

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Tell the court he’s an alcoholic and a danger to your child. He doesn’t have control over his own brains/body, which makes him dangerous. Request the court to test him as I mentioned above.

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May I suggest going to Alanon meetings as well

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Prioritizing your sanity and your son’s safety would be my suggestion. Al-Anon is an excellent place to meet other people who have gone through similar or the same situation; they’ll be able to share their experience and make suggestions on how you can proceed.

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Sorry that you are dealing with this! I'm going on two years of sobriety after a similar situation with my partner. I'm a non-AAer and so what follows will be informed by my experience and "recovery world view".

Your husband is stuck in a horrible cycle of addiction. Please try not to approach it with him or in your mind as a moral failing or character issue.

I would ask him if he wants to get medical help to get his life back on track and to keep his son in his life. If he does, I would offer to help him find a residential treatment facility that fits his needs and insurance benefit. It's critical to understand that there are very good residential centers that are not what you would expect. I went to a non-AA facility that permits electronics. Not understanding that both of those were options kept me away from getting the -medical- help that I desperately needed.

If this sounds like a direction that would work for him and you, happy to share details by DM.

Beat of luck to you and to him. It's so hard.

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Alanon meets. 90 in 90 days. Please do this.

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