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Congrats on both of you figuring it out and wanting to change it. The hard part is both of you changing your schedules to prioritize you as a couple. I would suggest date nights, where you alternate who plans them. It’s a great opportunity to explore new things each of you like to do… music concerts, wine or spirit tasting, gun range, go cart racing, dancing, sporting events, have a bonfire, picnic in the park, go to a zoo, in addition to a simple dinner out. Good luck!
Kids?
Hugely important to be figuring this out together! I think for starters you should figure out a weekly date night (or anytime) that you can both commit to. I always watched my parents go on a date every friday night (even when we were young and needed babysitters) and it's something I have tried really hard to prioritize in my own marriage as well. For me I also need like 20 mins of non-interrupted non-screen time with my husband everyday. It's not much but when the kids have gone down to sleep, we always give each other 20 minutes at least, to talk about our days, give each other foot massages, and just show some affection in our otherwise very busy schedule. I think everyone has 20 mins a day to connect with their spouse
I’m a lawyer and my wife is a consultant and travels sun-thurs. we play a lot of board games, take walks, go out to eat, watch movies, cuddle, and plan for furniture. Basically things that force us for focus on each other or do things side by side and talk.
We have date night every Friday. Going on like 4 years of it. We have an 8-month old and haven’t missed a beat on this. It matters.
We have date night on Friday. We generally just go out to eat, but we talk about our week.
Rising Star
We try for regular date nights but with a toddler it doesn’t happen regularly. When we can’t go out, we’ll make time to do something like have some wine and play a board game or something like that after the kiddo goes to bed.
Put it on the calendar. Dedicate a day every week to do something together. Every month my husband and I have a sit down and pull out the calendar and plan the upcoming month out. Good luck!