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Can you move to a lower cost housing scenario? Solving the root cause probably will make the biggest impact and it sounds like you know that's the source of your budget pressure
Missing the match is really tough, given the huge guaranteed return you miss.
I would cut wherever else you can. Eating out, cars, vacation, clothes, etc, so you can get the match AND save towards an emergency.
Side hustle might work too as others mention.
Find a way to cut childcare cost (wfh, family?)
There is no guarantee rates will go down any time soon, nor that you will get raises. (One of you might even lose your job!)
You made the choice to be poor, so live like it!
No. Sell your house and buy one more to what you can really afford.
Anywhere else you can cut? Usually eating out is a big expense.
If those are the only 2 choices, I would stop contributing to the 401k temporarily. People say the market is down now, but I have a feeling the stock market will be up n down over the next few years. Even an HYSA for your emergency savings will likely produce more stable returns in case you need it in the short term.
Moving/selling isn’t an option. Besides the cost and fees of moving is essentially 20k ball park so that wouldnot help the short term scenario we’re in
Rent out your basement or a room.
Can you find a way to get your house to pay for itself a bit? Rent the garage out or a plot of land for a garden or airb2b or something like that?
Can I ask, what % of your monthly gross income is your PITI?