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If pat leave is a key factor, check to make sure you’d be eligible in both roles if you’re only there a few months when you have the baby
Every financial situation is different. If #1 will make you less stressed about money, take that one.
Otherwise, take the job that is more interesting to you (content, activities, skills required, boss, colleagues, etc.)
Offer 1. As a dad on pat leave with my second kid, I’m enjoying all my time past the critical first 6 weeks but I know that my role is, I’m less important until later in their lives. Besides - you can always augment your pat leave with vacation. Get that $ and get your family set for success.
I may be projecting here, but I feel like, as a man, and even as (I hope) a good dad, I’m a less proficient early childhood caregiver than the average woman in our extended family. Men get the job done but we’re not critical as mom to start.
However, this isn’t to discount fatherhood entirely because feel like I had a ton of value with my oldest (5) and as a mentor to my nephews (10+). There’s clear research that we, as fathers, make a huge impact on a child’s life in providing examples to boys and reinforcing a sense of value to girls.
But I’ve never felt more useless than with a newborn. I felt like I should’ve been out doing hunter/gatherer things because my wife was the real MVP, feeding the baby and knowing exactly how to comfort her
I’m on the other end of the spectrum with this one, I think that offer 2 is the best one. Don’t underestimate the support that your partner will need with a young child. Less money may be preferable over your travelling - how accurate is the 30-40%?
Plus the 8 weeks pat leave is superb.
In short, I have friends in similar situations who went option 1 (or similar) and not split their pay with their ex -wife or who regret not being around for the baby times
Many companies require certain amount of time in company before you can use paternity leave, so make sure to understand those requirements in both companies. Also you can negotiate taking an unpaid leave with offer 1.
Offer 1 is 6wks paid and 6wks unpaid after 1 year tenure. The best negotiated terms they could offer me was 3wks within the first year. Any longer they said it would be hard to stay up to speed with their rapidly moving business.
Offer 2 is 8wks after 6 months tenure. Manager said she will work with me to ensure it can get it, bumping it up or using PTO days to bridge some of the days if the birth comes just prior of the 6 months.
Travel would be the biggest factor for me. Don’t think I could be gone one week a month or more. Have a 4yr old now. Would have been sad to miss all that happens in that 2-3 range. Pretty amazing development by week. Good luck with however you decide. You do what’s best for you and your family.