Related Posts
Where are you in your own path to parenthood?
Why are relationships so difficult!!!
Enthusiast
Conversation Starter
More Posts
Bowl Leader
Do it, I dare you. 😑
Community Builder
I teach pre k to 8th
Anyone have recs for a Nephrologist/Kidney doc?
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
There are two pieces of advice I was given and they have served me well.
1. Do not drop them.
2. If everything you do is out of love for your child, you'll never do them wrong.
Also. Go to sleep. Like now lol
Enjoy the ride, as often as you can. Congratulations, fellow dad.
Get ready for your switch to BST....Baby Standard Time....your new time shift
Real talk: you might not like your baby at first
A not insignificant percentage of dads do not feel overwhelming love at first sight; for me, it was very much a chore until he started smiling (six weeks in)
If this is your reality, be easy on yourself. It’ll all work out
This may sound bizarre with all the other tips you'll find here, on forums, reddit, from other dads, etc...
But I found the most important thing is to focus on relationship with your partner (child's mother). You both likely have different expectations on how things should be done, different thresholds, and will do things differently and grow at different pace.
Being and acting as a unified team will be one of the biggest factors in yours, your child's, and your partner's growth and happiness.
You will be independent and different from your partner but still work as a team.
Focus on the process of teamwork. How to communicate needs, wants, needing help, etc. How to discuss different opinions. How to ask for a break, how to say sorry.
I think it's a meme and maybe a self fulfilling prophecy, but I hear so many stories of resentment from wives with their husband's after kids.
There's a book How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids. I think it supposed to be a funny yet serious read. I listened to the audio book. I found it enlightening as a dad. Don't ask me why I started reading /listening to it.
I think this is spot on. I had the same experience of the first kid and five years later don't feel I ever recovered. No one tells you this but your relationship with you wife will change and will be challenged and stressed. You see your spouse as a different person. You become a different person. A strong foundation will only help you coast through this for a short period of time. Build good habits, communication, regular date nights. The first few years are tough but you get it all back in multiples if your relationship survives.
Breastfeeding / feeding the baby is hard AF. Be there for your wife / partner. Obviously feeding the baby is the most important thing she is doing, but it will also be the most stressful (and maybe painful) despite what path you choose. Being supportive and empathetic will make the world of difference
If 100% breastfeeding, even if everything goes perfectly the sheer sleep deprivation she’ll face is debilitating
Here are some thoughts:
Baby wipes and diapers from Target, Costci, Bjs, etc. Work just as well as the name brands ones and are a lot cheaper.
When buying large ticket items like car seats, strollers, cribs and playpens, go gender neutral with the colors. This way you can reuse them for the next babies even if they are a different gender.
The $100 graco car seat keeps the kid just as safe as the $800 one. Might not have as many bells and whistles, but it if just going from point a to b, it is fine.
Babies do not need $50 shoes. They don't even need to wear them. Don't be the guy whose kid is rocking the genuine Timberland boots st 3 months old.
Buy all your baby clothes from target, Walmart and Kohls (if in the US). They outgrow, stain and soil them so quickly it's crazy buying the expensive stuff.
Sometimes there is nothing better than sitting in a chair and having the baby fall asleep on your chest, especially after feeding them.
Get on the floor with them even if they can't move yet.
Let them play by themselves as well. They need to learn that independence.
Read to them.
Take paternity leave if you can. You and your partner will both need the rest.
Take them outside as much as possible.
Don't buy stupid crap like a wipe warmer. They'll survive.
I'm sure some will disagree with me on this one. You don't need to sterilize the bottle after each use. By the 3rd kid I ended up using the same bottle all day long and just rinsed it out between uses. Saved so much time and they never had any issues.
That's all I have for now.
Good luck and congratulations!
I would agree with everything but the car seat. There are huge construction differences between a $100 seat and $400 Clek ones (which I chose to use). They'll both keep your kiddo in place, but if you show me an all plastic seat and tell me it's going to hold up just as well in an accident as my steel and magnesium framed seat, I will be skeptical. They can be expensive, but safety is one place where skimping just isn't worth the risk. Just like single ply tp.
Found out over the weekend you need to watch what grandparents teach them. My wife’s coworkers thought it was funny when our nearly two year old yelled “beer!” when she saw someone with a pop can.
It’s okay if your baby cries, Just means they are alive!
Don’t drop the baby
don’t put random stuff in the bassinet/crib
Gripe water worked for us (helps baby with gas/upset stomach)
For the most part just remember the cycle Eat, Sleep, poop.
Sleep. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
Also remember that people have been having babies for a long time. Despite how hard life is, the odds are good you won’t f it up.
Congrats!
Congrats! I’m expecting my second and the one piece of advice I have is don’t be hard on yourself. There will be days that you have a long to-do list and nothing will get done. That’s OK - your new baby and wife are more important. Enjoy it!
Find a way to get alternate caregivers (family members, baby sitters etc. up to speed ASAP). It’s much easier to get in that habit early.
First had experience: re-teaching a 60+ yr old parent to put a 1.5 yr old baby to sleep is more challenging than you’d think. I just want to go eat dinner at a restaurant 😭
First off. Congratulations 🍾. I would recommend a few things:
Advice
1. You’re the best parent for your child. That means who cares if someone else judges your parenting style. As long as you kee the baby happy healthy and safe. You do you
2. In the first year don’t base your child’s development off other babies. The variance is wild, your  pediatrician will inform you if there is a developmental challenge.
3. Have fun. This is a challenging time but a fun time in your life. Enjoy the small moments of afternoon snuggles and naps
Products
1. Get a snoo. They are magical. We have two children. 1 with a snoo the other without. The sleeping experience the first 6 months was drastically different with a snoo.
2. Experiment with products. Not everything that works with other baby’s will work with your. Adjust as  necessary
3. Babies grow fast. Remember that for investment in clothing
Goodluck and enjoy the amazing experience
Remember that you’re not always going to know what to do and give yourself some grace while you figure stuff out!
Tried mama and baby the same initially. Feed them, keep them fed, love them.
This I coherent response was from me a dad of 2 under 2 and completely exhausted but so thrilled with my kiddos. Meant to say keep mom and baby fed and mama hydrated, remind mama to sleep and let her sleep, and kindly except any and all crap that she may give you with a smile and offer he more food or more importantly water
Never cheap out on diapers and never question your spouse’s judgement on the baby’s needs. Congratulations and enjoy every moment while they are still in your lap. They’ll be ready to walk and off to being themselves at the blink of an eye.
Wanted to circle back after posting previously. Be prepared to experience the most amazing things you ever have in your life. Getting to know this wonderful little person you’re about to introduce to the world. It’s absolutely the best experience hands down.
At some point you may feel so enraged by a comment or decision by your wife.... you’re just tired and you need sleep. Deep breath.
If you're going to do something, do it to the best of your ability.
Don't be afraid to fail, fail quickly and fail often. Fail into success.
Take risks early, when you're older it becomes harder.