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Fell off a table while dancing at a fancy club, hit another table on the way down. Went to the ER at 3 am to get stitches. On my vag
... still made Senior Manager
When I was younger, I was pretend boxing with my dad in a parking lot wearing flip flops. I went to lunge and dragged my toe on the rough pavement and it tore off the tip of my toe. Only a couple of years ago it stopped looking flat on the front edge.
Still made Director 🤷🏻♀️
Forgot to say: I was bleeding profusely and the tip of my toe was hanging off. The ER couldn’t stitch it because the tissue was going to die, so they glued it back on just to protect the toe from bacteria, but informed me the tip would fall off in a couple of days due to tissue death. It sure did, a few days later, at the beach, because I didn’t think it through that maybe I shouldn’t go in the water 🤦🏻♀️
I tore my acl passing the ball back, to people playing on the other field..,
1. Broke my arm between the lid hinges of a blue recycle bin, after it fell over while I was inside it
2. Sliced fingertip open with cat food can lid.
... still made manager.
Legs fell completely asleep while taking a late night shit.
Was impatient getting up. Hit the floor like a sack of taters. Left hand jammed into the bowel. That finger’s never been right since.
I now flush before standing. Never told a soul.
Jumped on my husband’s back when he had bent down to get something from a lower cupboard in our kitchen (plan was to play “horsey”). Forgot I was not a child and too heavy so he lost his balance with my weight, I slide right over his head and knocked my head on the kitchen counter and blacked out. Had to go to the ER with the biggest bump on my forehead and explain this utterly embarrassing story to lots of people over the next few weeks while I healed
Made a Rube Goldberg machine for school project with a razor blade mounted on a mousetrap arm. Completely predictably, it sprang shut while I was setting it up and I lost the edge of my thumb.
My parents had the best fight about it in the ER. Mom used that "I told you it was a terrible idea" for yeeeears. 😂
Sliced the tip of my thumb off while cutting an orange peel for a Negroni as I was bartending for friends I’d invited over for cocktails.
Felt particularly bad for the friend who told me later that she’d noticed and had to pick up the piece of thumb from the floor after I’d already departed for the ED...
I was bowling once with my right hand and managed to throw the ball into my left ankle.
Bagel slicing injury - trip to Emergency Dept and 5 stitches later, good as new!
My ex sliced off his thumb while using a table saw. 😳
Ok, butter knives for you two from now on
Chafed wrists from certain activity in the bedroom. I miss my ex 🤷🏻♂️
Weird flex but ok
I broke a bone in my foot by tripping on a hotel bedspread. Should I have asked for points?
Cooking - reached into the oven for the pan and placed it on the stovetop... then suddenly noticed I used my bare hands to do it 🥴
Blew the tip of my finger in half horizontally with a machine gun.
Good times, got it on my GoPro.
damaged link blocking the bolt from seating and firing a partially chambered round. (Open bolt, belt Fed)
Went to flick the link and the round detonated, primer and back cap of the cartridge flew back and went through my finger. Wasn’t even my gun, I was coaching. Good thing cause otherwise would have been in the shooters face. If your knowledgeable, there was only 150rds through the belt and he was not doing any cyclic or sustained fire. They chalked it up to faulty ammo that hasn’t been inspected since 2001.
I get so stressed about work I got stomach ulcers
This is such an amazing thread... 😂✌️ I love it when smart people do stupid shit ❤️
My now-wife sliced the tip of her right pointer off while making me what would have been the first home cooked meal of our dating relationship. Instead of having a romantic dish of roasted potatoes, we spent about 4 hours at the hospital.
It took her something like 3 years before she was ready to slice potatoes again!
I also broke my arm falling out of bed when I was 23
Oh, I totally forgot about these till now. When I was ~7/8 years old, I sheared off the toenail and part of the top of my right big toe. I was at the Y and opening the door to the gym. There was apparently a loose piece of metal on the bottom of the door and when the corner of it passed over my bare foot, it sliced off the toenail and part of the toe underneath. If memory serves, took a year or so for my big toe to get back to normal.
A year or two later, my parents were out at a holiday party and I was cutting shoe laces in the garage for some sort of craft project. I was using kitchen shears and somehow completely misjudged where the lace was, so I ended up chomping down on my left pointer and cutting down to the bone on both sides of it. Severed the nerve endings, so I didn't really feel anything, but it was a gusher. Me being young and stupid, I didn't call for help to any of my older sisters, but just went upstairs to the bathroom to get a bandaid, gushing blood everywhere. My sisters totally freaked out when they found the trail of blood and followed it to me, but they helped get my finger all bandaged up. My oldest sister didn't want to get in trouble by telling my parents, so we cleaned up the blood as best we could and blamed the remainder on our dog, so there was no hospital visit. My parents legit only found out about the whole thing a couple years ago when I told the story at a Thanksgiving. Almost 30 years later and you can still see the scars on my finger!