What's the worst execuse you've heard when you've told a patient they have an STI?

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The pt’s name was VERY unique. They told me & Doctor that it must be another pt with that name, that we had mistaken their results for the other person’s and vice versa. Like, bruh, I didn’t even know your name was a name until I met you, ain’t nobody else here with that name.

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I kid you not this happened to me!!! I went for a check up and she came in like congratulations you’re pregnant. No the hell I’m not. Here’s the labs and you peed in a cup. I promise you, you have the wrong patient and no I haven’t peed in a cup. Turns out there was a girl there with the same exact first and middle name (our names are NOT common) but her first name was spelled differently than mines.

I had one woman tell me she got it from wearing her sister's clothes.

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Woe that's a new one! I want to laugh, but I'd feel bad for doing so.

I had a friend tell me his patient blamed his wife– who, also as we later knew, blamed the husband. What a conundrum.

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"I think this is the not the right test"

What's yours? I'm interested to know now. I had a patient say, they got it from swimming in the pool.

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