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Any mass hiring happening for freshers??????
Hi All,
This is Harsh Sisodiya, I am working as a Candidate Manager in TEKsystems- Allegis Group, currently we are hiring for multiple roles for BFSI domain client for Hyderabad and Pune location.
Roles:
1. Java Developer (Spring/Spring boot)
2. GCP Developer (ETL+ Data Injection)
3. Vulnerability Remediation Engineer (Patching)
4. Oracle DBA
Please do refer.
Regards,
Harsh Pratap Singh Sisodiya
Candidate Manager (hsisodiya@teksystems.com)
TEKsystems- Allegis Group
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Your SO will understandably feel obligated to help them.
You got married for better or for worse.
You’re now obligated to help them.
Sorry to hear this situation, but it’s going to fall that way anyway. I’d advise you to fully support your SO’s wishes, fair or not. Minimize strife there and try your best to be a big person.
Do you support your SOs value system? Is it in their value system to care for family when they’re in need?
For me personally, I would feel an immense sense of privilege, honor, and gratitude to be able to support my parents in their old age.
PwC Honestly not sure how I would feel about it if it were my SO’s parents rather than my own. I guess I would understand where my SO is coming from and want to either 1: contribute the same to my parents or 2 (if separate finances): have my SO pay for most of it
Hell nah, but my folks are fairly toxic and don’t take good care of themselves, so I don’t expect to have this problem.
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Struggling with my parents not having anything saved for retirement and my dad’s basically disabled. Get Long Term Care insurance for your in-laws and just eat that cost for now. It’ll give you peace of mind later.
I skipped some of the above but haven’t seen an articulation of how immediate the issue is. OP you say your SOs parents have already retired and will likely need support for “end of life care” eventually, but this makes it sound fairly far off.
Just how old are your SO’s parents now? Does it seem like they’re in imminent risk of running out money to fund their current lifestyle? Or like they’ll exhaust it in 10-20 years? Or like they’ll just diminish their savings enough that they won’t be able to afford a good nursing home / hospice when they are truly close to the end of the road? The further off this is, the more you may have options to steer them gently now in ways that still make a big difference.
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OW1, they should be mostly fine for now (early 60s), but more so worried about them running out in 15-20 years. I don’t mind helping out here and there with various expenses. I’m fine with that. What I am not ok with is footing the bill for any type of assisted living facility, which currently run at $7-$10k per MONTH, and the cost is only increasing. They won’t get Long Term Care Insurance because they say they waited too long and at this point the cost doesn’t outweigh the benefit (it is VERY expensive if you do not purchase young).
For reference, both of my grandparents were in facilities for several years before passing. Thankfully they planned well, but in this day in age, not needing nursing home care is the exception, not the rule.
I hear you, I haven’t had the best relationship with my parents so giving them money for stuff that I can’t even afford for myself or them not even trying to make a sacrifice of their life style now that they are retired for me is a big no. I have told them I will help out for things they really need. For example, why would I give them money for a second car when I can’t even afford a second car myself and they can’t imagine only surviving on one car when they are both retired? Or giving them money for a retirement house when they have their own house paid off and refuse to downsize and look at cheaper areas?
My parents feel the obligation that I must support them. They make me feel that way too. In fact, they told me it is the daughters duty; they clearly have not caught up to this century where women work.
I have helped them for over 20 years but have backed off some recently due to my own health issues that they could care less about - my health is actually worse than theirs.
They have bought my brother a house and car and are about to give him another house. Yet, they still cry.. we have no money.
Currently they live in my house with me and do not pay their fair share. I’m done.
They used my grandparents before me, taking out loans they never intended to pay back; they taught my brother to do the same. Despicable users.
—Family-less
I empathize with you. Having a daughter is not an insurance policy. This is not the modern way. I hope it works out for you and sending you well wishes for your health.
For what it’s worth OP, I’d look towards buying some bonds or annuities rather than birthday or Christmas gifts. I Bonds look particularly good right now and if you have to cash them out before they fully mature, you only give up some gains. (Not all)
Other than that, I think a lot of conversations have to happen between you and your SO. If you’re married that makes things a little clearer.
Also need to have many conversations with their parents…but those might be just her or a mix of both of you depending on the relationship.
Good luck!
Does SO earn? Let them take the lead on this. Support only where absolutely required.
Maybe I’m not understanding the extent of financial support required by your in laws, but I don’t see why you are worried. Let the SO and their siblings manage.
Answer to your question is: Yes I will support parents if required. I don’t see it as an obligation. But my parents only 😅
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G2: Correction — separated spending outside of household stuff. We had seen enough petty behaviour around us where one spouse gets upset with the other about them spending money on their parents / themselves / their hobbies. When it comes to assets, it’s all common. Spending is anyway a very small % of assets so “separated finances” doesn’t hold true technically for me at least.
You can get LTC policies for them and write this off your taxes at least in NY state. As for cash needs, you may need to help them. They’re your family now too!
Agree with P1.
To mitigate, you could use their help in kind for child care, grocery runs, teaching kids after school etc
Reverse mortgage?
As far as support goes…if they were contributing to the household (cleaning, babysitting, etc) I wouldn’t care if my in-laws lived with us as we have a basement and the extra space. If they were content on staying in their own house and maintaining their lifestyle with me/my SO supporting them…that’s a hard no. If we’re expected to support them, I’m not giving up my financial freedom and independence to do so.
Nope.
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Do they own property? Could you sell and get a place with a granny flat for them to live in with you to cut costs down?
Same here, OP. Looking after mom and dad
If my parents (or my SO's) could not work anymore and needed assistance, I would feel the obligation to help them, as they started us both out on great footing and didn't need to. If they chose to stop working early just because, and didn't have a plan for it, I would still support, but do so in a way that incentivizes them continuing to work (eg. Letting them live with you on the condition they at least get a part time job to pay for some of their own expenses or take care of the kids and let my SO go back to work). If they want a free ride because they didn't plan properly it would be a pretty serious conversation with my SO to decide what we're comfortable with and think is best for them.
Obviously this varies culture to culture but just my two cents
OP we need more context what is your & SO take home pay? What is the monthly ask for the parents?
It’s completely normal ( esp in many immigrant / eastern cultures) to support your parents in older age.
I’ve probably a different perspective.
My mil worked and set aside money for retirement and then she was given a timeline for how long she had left. It wasn’t with certainty. She continued to work as she was worried she’d outlive the retirement.
I wish she would’ve just retired and lived her life up a little in her last few months.
My fil and step mil will probably work until they can’t work anymore. I already expect that they will work until the day they die before asking any kind of assistance from us for the fact that they are in poor health and still work at retirement age. We know they don’t have much set aside for retirement.
I would personally feel an obligation if I knew my SO felt that they have an obligation to support their parents.
OP - If the roles were reversed would you prefer your SO to mutually share your feelings of obligation for your parents?
Ugh it's a shame if you feel differently than your spouse (one of those really important things to agree on financially).
My husband and I are both happy to do this for our moms, but we feel similarly grateful for everything they gave us and sacrificed. He's white and I'm indian.
I would do anything to support my parents and parent in-law period.