{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Wife is considering quitting her job for 6 months to a year to care full time for our 3.5 and 1.5 year old until COVID settles down. Financially, we can make it work (semi) comfortably on 1 salary. Thoughts / advice from dads who’ve gone through this? Good idea? Live in Chicago.", "post_id": "60fb6273c60a27002969e5e1", "reply_count": 12, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "599aea2d2a4d83001641590b", "bowl_name": "Consulting Dads" }

Wife is considering quitting her job for 6 months to a year to care full time for our 3.5 and 1.5 year old until COVID settles down. Financially, we can make it work (semi) comfortably on 1 salary. Thoughts / advice from dads who’ve gone through this? Good idea? Live in Chicago.

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My salary affords is everything we want so my wife can be a stay at home mom. We’re a little short on capital for major house renovations but we’ll either get a HELOC or just put them off. I think giving her the choice to work or full time parent was one of the best things I was able to offer her. Make no mistake, stay at home parenting is hard as hell, harder than corporate work sometimes, but seeing how much more time the kids get with a parent vs my dual income friends… I think it’s worth it. When both parents work you basically spend 2-3 hours a day with them and part of that is taken up by dinner and bed time routine.

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Oh man. My wife left her job when my first child was born. That was 6 years ago and she still hasn’t gone back to work. We’ve made it work , but I’m completely wiped out at this point. I really wish she would go back to work so we could afford a nanny/au pair to help take care of the kids cuz it’s a bit much.

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My wife quit after our second child and we live just on my income. Atlanta not Chicago but we made it work.

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My wife been out of the work force since right before our first was born. If you can swing it and it’s important to her, go for it. It makes somethings harder, but if you get the teaming right, it’s super special

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My wife stopped working when our first child was born. I was supportive and knew it’d be a rough few years, financially. She was a SAHM and then our second was born last year. Things were manageable until our eldest started pre-school, and then it was another $1.8k out of our take home income and so we started to feel the squeeze. She just got back into work after 3.5 years out, but has had to take a lower grade and less money than when she left. She’s not crazy about that part, but does appreciate being back at work (remotely, so she sees the kids). Nearly half her paycheck goes towards a nanny for our second kid, but longer term career prospects etc.

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Truly appreciate the different perspectives guys - you’ve given me plenty to think about:) Part of me thinks she may be underestimating the work involved and will end up getting overwhelmed (and stressing me out in the process). On the flip side, I worry that the 6 months - 1 year ends up becoming multiple years.

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This ^^^

Plan on a reality she likely won’t go back. 6 months turns into 18 years pretty easily for many I’ve talked to.

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We just did this. 3.5 year old and 1 year old. She was making 80 and sending both of them to the same private preschool / daycare just wasn’t worth the hassle for the incremental salary. We front loaded her 401k before she gave notice and live frugally but in the northeast. Planning on doing this for the year but will see. 2 months in and it’s beyond worth it in my opinion. Such a better vibe at the house, less stress, more flexibility to do long weekends / take trips with the kids. The past 1.5 years have been a bitch so we decided to prioritize our well being over a little extra money. Your situation may be different but we went for it and haven’t looked back so far

Just make sure she actually wants to do it and doesn’t feel obligated. Some personality types don’t do well staying at home and could become resentful.

Really difficult to get back in the labor market, in part because she’ll be a bit less competitive having been out (depending on her skill set obviously) and in part because she may really not want to go back to work / find it daunting. I’m a father, but would be worried about quitting temporarily for those two reasons…

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