Am I terrible person if I wish my friend has a feral second child? 🙈

My first was a velcro baby, had colic, disregulated mess, big feelings, strong willed/ strong opinions, etc. Her first kid is very chill and easy baby (and toddler so far) and I know she never understands the struggle, and can be pretentious at times about it.

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Yeah, kinda. I can tell it's sort of a joke.

Truth is probably in the middle. No doubt the physical stuff was exactly as you say, but how much of the velcro and strong willed stuff might be just a little bit on you and your choices? Her kid is likely more calm by nature (and less physical issues), but how much of that might be her attitude and parenting choices? And is she really trying to be superior, or might she be trying to help and you're a bit sensitive? Even if she is a bit tactless. The questions are worth exploring and being as objective as you can be.

Try to maintain the friendship though, even if she is getting on your nerves. Having plenty of people to call on in emergencies is worth some irritating comments now and then.

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My first child was laid back, and was the "perfect" child. My second child had colic and was very difficult. Yes, it's true that your friend doesn't understand. I had a friend tell me how her perfect child understood that staying in the car seat was important for safety while I remembered pulling off the road because my difficult child had managed to climb out of the car seat.

Cut your friend a break. You don't know what happens when you aren't around. It's easy to assume that you understand how to deal with your child when things are going well.

There's a video out there about being feral. Definitely grew up that way. Independent, self-aware, able to handle almost any situation calmly. traveled for miles to different neighborhoods.
Best way to be.

I think there's an intellectual component too. I know everybody thinks their kid is smart, but I usually get some bewildered comments on how freaky smart he is. He's become much more manageable the more he's gained his independence through movement and talking. We've always known he's highly particular, but now he can tell us what he wants.

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